Could any of you describe a situation where you found yourselves in a physical altercation with one of your parents, and how did it impact your relationship?

6 comments

1. Oh yeah, my mom smacked me around all the time. When I was about 13 I grabbed her arm to stop her and she looked really scared, and it slowed way down from there. She’d still hit me knowing I couldn’t hit back until I left though. We haven’t spoken in about 10 years now. My Dad and I never got into it, but he used me as a shield against my mom once when she came at him with a knife, and I still harbor some bad feelings about that. We hang out on holidays and aren’t close.

2. I was abused quite a lot growing up, in various ways. I hit back sometimes, and somewhere around age 13-15 I caught their punch in my hand and my hit back wasn’t so painless. That ended the physical abuse.

   I spent the rest of their lives (one is still alive) playing this stupid charade where they pretended nothing happened and in return I had/have limited contact with them and don’t talk about lots of stuff. I never let them aline with my children and they never pushed very hard on it.
   Here and there I’d make some attempt to have a real relationship but it wouldn’t work. I was able to forgive more and move on more when one parent passed away and figure it’ll probably be the same with the other. Having the failed attempts at a relationship hurt but after one died it made healing easier- I knew I had done my part and could feel ok with how I handled things.

3. Almost fought my dad back in 2020. He’s very insecure and sensitive, always demanding respect while never showing any or doing anything that deserves it ( while also abandoning me and my mom for years and marrying someone else out of spite.) anyway, he has a very stoic attitude towards death and will casually drop “oh yeah someone died” like its normal. After weeks of arguing with him and shit, I just lost it and i forgot what I said out of anger and it really pissed him off. Both my ex and my mom held us back. We’re about the same size but he has a fuck ton more fighting experience than I do.

   I want to say this honestly started when he saw me crying on the floor when I found out my grandmother died, he looked at me and kept walking away. Said nothing to me about it or tried to talk to me about it at all.

4. My dad basically thought I’d only be a man if I fought him at some point. When I didn’t, he weirdly picked fights with me and tried to make me hit him as a teenager. We came close a couple of times and looking back as an adult, he was clearly egging it on. I feel like the bigger man for leaving. It was ridiculous.

5. Didn’t get very much aggression from my father, but he had used physical punishment a few times to assert authority. Don’t remember what the argument was, but he slapped me once when I was 16. It didn’t hurt, I laughed (or scoffed) and we both realized that that approach of his was a thing of the past.

6. I was probably 17, and was in a fight about something dumb with my dad and mom. I was mad and couldn’t communicate clearly what was going on and told them to leave so we could talk later. My dad said something I found insulting, and I shoved him. He said “Do that one more time and I’ll call the police and tell them you’re being dangerous.” I said “Oh sure, do it. I’m sure they’ll believe a a grown man was being abused and not his kid.”

   To be clear, he has never hurt me, it was just a moment of us both flying off the handle. He left and we resolved the argument the next day after apologizing to each other.