We have been dating for 1.5 years now and I had met her at college. We are not from the same state only an hour apart but both live at school so it works. I spend almost every second of my free time with her but it sometimes does not seem like its enough don’t get me wrong I love spending alone time with her but I rarely go out with friends because of my schedule and I like to when I can. Whenever there is a party or people are going out, she never wants to go. Which is fine that is totally up to her but if she doesn’t want to go, I am simply not allowed. If we do end up going the night somehow ends in a fight half of the time. In other context, when I go home for break and my hometown friends want to go out to a bar, she claims she is uncomfortable if I go and it starts a huge fight, every time to the point where i feel guilty for going and my time is ruined because my face is in my phone arguing the whole time. I have never cheated in my life or have been any sort of unloyal, yet she brings up my past hookups every chance she gets and holds it against me because she knows them personally but I do not talk to them at all and it was years ago when I was a dumb freshman but I didn’t even know she existed. She can go out with her friends whenever without me infact I often encourage it. She has understood that this is a problem and her experiences have made her this way and I do appreciate that but the problem is still very much there and hasn’t changed, she claims theres nothing that can be done. It felt like the blame and pressure to fix this was all on me. She had tried therapy but it is too expensive to keep going. I continue to stay with her because i believe in her/us and our alone time together is amazing i deeply love & care about her but this problem has been slowly pushing me away and being a college senior, I don’t want to look back and regret lost memories/friendships and I am scared of what the future holds if this path continues. It feels like a constant mental battle inside me questioning if i should stay or go. How should I handle this situation?
I apologize for the long text, thx.
5 comments
She is mad about something she did
She is clingy and insecure and not interested in changing. She’ll trip out and make you feel like you’re doing something wrong when you aren’t. This will drive you nuts. It’s a downward spiral. Unless she helps herself by getting out of her box or talking to someone, don’t expect this to change. I’d just dump her, you’re too young to be putting yourself through that stress man.
Either you put you foot down now and tell her she is being unreasonable, or you get used to it.
I am in a pretty sumular situation atm and i am very close to leaving her. I think the contolling behavement would crush me in the future so i wont be doing this for a long time no more. your friends are worth so much and good girls are not that rare. The mental fuckening isnt worth it. (for me)
It looks like you tried to make things work but she’s unable or doesn’t want to really try. You have valid fears and as an older person I can safely tell you that there are other people out there that aren’t like this or are willing to change to better their relationship. If she isn’t you need to do what is best for you because she’s doing what she thinks is best for her. Your the only one trying what’s best for the relationship and you shouldn’t spend all you thing fixing one at such a young age.