Making the first move and messaging first? Asking you out on a date? Or not taking “not interested” for an answer? Something else?

40 comments

  1. Making a first move doesn’t make you look desperate. Not taking the possible ‘No’ for an answer does.

    Begging for a chance does.

    Having low or lack of boundaries and just doing whatever he wants does.

    Dropping everything just to be around a guy does

  2. For me, not much out of the gate. I love it when I know a woman’s interested in me, and love seeing real desire for me. The desperate problem comes if I can sense she’s only doing it to not be alone or she can’t take no for an answer or other things that go past that.

  3. Rejecting a man to see how much he likes her and a measure of his interest. ‘No’ means ‘no’ but most women I have pursued consistently pull this one. They get bitter or resentful when I move on.

    If a woman has to do this to feel sure about herself due to her lack of confidence she should seek therapy or take a break from dating and relationships. If she says “no” to see how he reacts and if he keeps his composure and acts gracefully i**t’s on her to initiate or pursue**. Or keep on cycling through men you don’t know who could react negatively.

  4. Those that ‘need’ a partner instead of being single for awhile. Those clingy people will latch themselves on to anything in arm’s reach. Got roped in once or twice until I recognized what was happening.

  6. Buddy reconnected with someone from his past. They’d been texting and had a first date set up, but she was already texting him “I miss you.”

    She’s also get passive aggressive if he didn’t text back within a certain amount of time.

    Never got to the first date.

  7. To who?

    Women often think other women who ask men out or make the first move are desperate pick mes.

    Guys tend to care less.

    A desperate woman would be like one who showed her partner with expensive gifts and compliments and forgave anything bad he did.

  8. Making the first move and messaging first or asking me out on a date makes her look actually interested and not desperate.

    Not taking “not interested” for an answer may make her look desperate or at least show her in a bad light. Needing constant communication (i.e. texting) and freaking out when not immediately responded to, or not getting the response she was fishing for would make her look desperate – or at the very least emotionally immature.

  9. Making the first move, messaging first, asking him out on a date – all of these make her look confident and sure of what she wants.

    Persistence is desperation, or someone in want of conquest, either is not attractive.

  10. Breaking into my house to wait for me while I’m out on a date with someone else.

    Parking her car at the end of my street to wait for me to get home.

    2 different women. Those were fun times lol

  13. none of those things you gave examples of makes a woman look desperate. Here is what makes a woman look desperate…..forcing her boyfriend to propose to marry her and if he is not ready for marriage then she makes the relationship difficult as retaliation.

    Another more common form of women behaving desperate is her having a Dog and treating it like one of her children.

    Lastly the most common form of a desperate woman is her pretending she is not interested, and she makes it sound like she has too many options. That is all fake and guys can see though this easily.

  16. Frankly, women calling other women pickmes for taking any initiative is FAR more desperate than anyone brave enough to take initiative.

  17. None of those things you mentioned make a woman look desperate except for refusing to take “not interested” for an answer.

    Please for the love of God if you like a guy don’t wait for him to ask you out. Let him know.

  18. Unless she’s still obviously trying after the guy said no or is showing zero interest, it’s hard for women to look desperate.

  19. Making moves towards an entire group of friends. There was this chick who had asked my best friend to be her bf, when he said no she started going after me, when I made it clear that I am not interested she went after my other friend. That’s what I call desperate.

  20. “Where’s all the good men?”

    “She’s too young to make decisions for herself like I did!”

    “You’re not a real man!”

    “If you can’t love me at my worst you don’t deserve my best!”

    Etc

  21. Caring if she looks fucking desperate.

    Put your ego and narcissism aside and be humble and you’ll be happy.

  22. Women taking initiative is confident and sexy. Making the first move, asking me out, etc etc are all positives. I’m a guy who does just fine for himself, but in my life I don’t think I’ve been asked out on a first date once. And I wouldn’t be put off by it if it did happen, in fact, I’d be inclined to say yes bc it’s sexy.

    A woman looks desperate if they are indirectly doing attention-seeking “look at me!” behavior. Just show obvious interest in the guy that you want to be interested in you. Don’t broadcast your life to the world in the hopes that the one guy you like is the one to respond.

  23. >>Making the first move and messaging first?

    No keep doing this

    >>Asking you out on a date?

    Keep doing this

    >>Or not taking “not interested” for an answer? Something else?

    Yeah don’t do this.

  26. Not taking “no” for an answer is not “being desperate”. No means no, no matter what the subject – you are unwanted, queen, and you should make yourself scarce.

  28. Why the fuck would making the first move, messaging first or asking a guy out on a date even be considered ‘desperate’?

    Explain to me the logic behind this, please.

    Believe it or not, women are also people who have needs, wants and desires. Far-fetched for some, I know.

  29. Pretending they’re interested in stuff they’re not interested in. Trying too hard to be one of the guys.

  31. Making the first move, does not make you look desperate! All of society pretty much expect men to do it so a woman, making the first move would be something most guys would love and instantly be attracted to!

  33. Forget the games. Make sure your man knows you want to spend time with him, then he’ll invite you to.

    But don’t cancel your whole life to make time for him and don’t push for communication everyday too quickly.

    “not interested” is not something a man is going to say, if he’s interested. We’re direct with our communication.

  35. Nothing really. Women are absolute experts at hiding it. It’s very rare to see any hint of vulnerability

  38. The thing I noticed way back in the day was that when a girl’s super interested in you and you’re just not….. they get super butt hurt when you turn them down. Maybe I just had bad luck, but every one of them was pissed when I nicely told them that I wasn’t interested. In fact, I had to some not even realized I turned them down, leading to the awkwardness of being exceedingly blunt… Last thing in that vein was when I said no I had them try and convince me. I get that they had some wounded pride, Believe me I know that feel, but it is what is, no amount of layering is going to get me interested.

    NGL I almost kicked myself because I was certain one girl was a total freak, but if anyone has ever seen the 40yo virgin they know the scene where he says “that girl scares the fuck out of me” knows exactly where I’m coming from.

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