Is it always just a cop out or did the time and space away ever actually make you realise you wanted to be with that person? I’m a pretty rational human and to me it that’s pretty black and white way of saying I’m just not ready for a relationship with you but I’ve wondered if it’s ever not been the case. And by time and space I mean no contact, not hanging out and essentially doing all the things one would do to move on.

18 comments
  1. The old ones are the best.

    “It’s not you it’s me”

    “I’m not ready for a relationship”

    Always a brush off

  2. It’s not a cop out. It’s just a line guys say when they’re too nice, or too cowardly, to go, “Hey, I’m not feeling it with you.”

  3. I had 2 fwb that I told very explicitly in the start “there will be no relationship. Do you wish to continue?” And as soon as they said that they were getting smitten I broke it off with them in a very firm yet gentle manner

  4. I’ve used this line in lieu of “I don’t want to date you” because it’s much more polite.

  5. I asked for complete no contact because I felt like the physical intimacy was so intense that it would become a distraction to other goals I had. She cried, asked me to reconsider and then reluctantly agreed. We went no contact for about six months. For two years after that our only contact was exchanging hand written letters once a month. Now married 23 years, six children, prosperous, happy and healthy.

    I still believe that orgasm is easy, addicting and distracting to other important relationship building. Please do not let something as easy and common as orgasm distract you from something as rare and powerful as love.

  6. We drifted, kept fucking for a bit, then we started to see other people for a while but never really gave anyone else a fair go in terms of relationship potential. It turned out it was always her. We married and now have a bunch of kids. Happy AF.

  7. I’ll break the mould here.

    I’ve said this in the past because I was too recently out of a long term relationship and legitimately could not jump into another one.

    I ended up dating the girl I said it too for a little under a year. Not a great romantic connection but the fact is that I was into her when I said it, I just wasn’t ready for a relationship.

  8. Said it. She was patient for a little while. By the time I actually was ready for a relationship with her, she had decided to move on. Friends still, but don’t talk nearly as often or openly.

  9. It is a polite way to say you may be fun but you are not long term material. He may not know why you are not, but the decision is made.

    You get to decide if you want to continue fun, cut ties and move on, or do nothing. Unless you have an agenda to follow, date and marriage for instance, there is no wrong path here.

  10. This is what we call polite rejection. Both genders use this excuse , especially women , move on with your life , it’s all about your self-pride.

  11. I said this to a girl when i was on the rebound, just got out of a relationship and shaky to start another, this girl was friendly and all but i didn’t know if i wanted to push it further but she ended up reeling me in anyways… dated for her for 2 years after that….

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