Creating a great first impression if you’re nervous meeting new people

The human brain is lazy, it makes judgements quickly then sticks with them. Within the first few seconds of meeting you a person will create an impression of you that will last a long time. They will also be convinced that this impression is accurate. If you want 80% of the result with 20% of the effort, learn to create a great first impression.

**Why do bad first impressions count?**

If you meet someone and they seem nervous and withdrawn when first introduced to them, what is your overall impression? Do they seem trustworthy? Do they seem competent? Do you want to keep talking to them? Would you want to stay in contact with them?

Of course, most people will answer: I would give them a chance! I don’t just go on first impressions, I find out what people are really like.

That’s what your brain tells you, we want to be fair and non-judgemental, but we’re not. We make snap judgements on everything around us and stick with it.

**Isn’t it just natural to be nervous meeting new people?**

Yes it is. Strangers represent threat to humans as long as we started walking upright on the plains of the savanna. It is perfectly natural to feel anxious when we encounter someone new. We are on high alert they are someone who is not going to be a threat to us physically or socially, as to our brain means this could be death.

**So how do I overcome this?**

You can’t suppress being nervous. Telling someone “just don’t act/be nervous” is like telling someone not to think of a pink elephant. By suppressing an emotion, you make it worse. So what’s the solution? The times when you are least nervous is when you’re meeting with an old friend. You know what to expect exactly, you’re glad to see them and they’re easy to talk to. You just need to re-enact this with a stranger. Next time, before you’re introduced to a new person or group, tell your brain “these people are are old friends from when I was younger, who I haven’t seen in a while”, that’s it. If you can convince your brain these aren’t strangers but people you had a warm relationship with, introductions are easy. You know they’re not a threat, you can openly express warmth, you can ask how they are and mean it, you can pay a compliment and be sincere.

First impressions are easy, you just need the right reference.

**What else can I do?**

It is too much to go over in a single post, there are many other avenues to maximising results. Learning how to be in the right mindset is the most important hurdle.

TLDR

Create a good first impression by pretending the person you are meeting is an old friend.

​