I keep trying to make new friendships but every time I make one the same thing happens. What am I doing wrong? I physically can’t make any new friends because of my social anxiety.

4 comments

1. You haven’t given a whole lot of context to be able to give advice or tips. Going off your post history alone you seem quite desperate to make friends. I theorise that sometimes the desperation alone makes it harder because you are putting the act of making friends on a pedestal which then adds more pressure on yourself to say or do “the right thing” and then feeling awkward when the time comes to do so cause nobody without a Time Machine will ever know what the right things are in the moment. I notice most people who have a lot of friends are very comfortable with themselves and are confident/happy doing their own thing, living their lives, etc. It might be time to steady with the needing to make friends (easier said than done at 17 years old) and start focusing on the things in your life that make you happy as that happiness will generally cause people to gravitate towards you as you will be your best self and radiate that energy wherever you go. This is what I try and think about when I am feeling lonely or worry that I don’t have friends.

2. If you force yourself to make new friends then you are not true to yourself. You are just simply trying too hard and it shows.

3. Learn to accept reality, your friends have a life of their own they can’t always be there for you. You’ll need to learn that friends come and go. That there will be times when you can reconnect again. You’re young you’ve got many people to meet.

4. You need to be ok with being alone.

   Do things by yourself, hobbies, lunch, walks etc.

   Once you’re comfortable being alone, you’ll be less desperate to have friends. And then you’ll become more chill to be around.

   Also if you have social anxiety, get some therapy. Work through your issues. CBT can be really useful but you’ll need to find out what works for you.