Wife of 20 years sudden heroes outbreak

17 comments

1. Oral herpes is herpes of the mouth, if it’s on her genitals it is genital herpes.

   I’m assuming she means HSV-1, which is usually spread by oral contact, but there’s no way of knowing if it’s HSV 1 or 2 without doing a swab or blood test.

   She should probably seek a second opinion, it doesn’t sound like this doctor is particularly knowledgeable about herpes if this is how it went down and I’m not misunderstanding something

   Apart from that – your first outbreak usually happens within a few weeks of exposure. There are always exceptions and it can stay dormant for a while in some people, but having a first outbreak 20+ years after exposure seems VERY unlikely. There’s a pretty good chance she got this from someone else fairly recently. I’m sorry.

2. Many years ago my gf at the time was told by a nurse that she definitely had genital herpes…… She didn’t. 100% get tests done and get and answer before anything else

3. 1 Dr said I had herpes, 3 different drs said i didn’t. Get a second, third, or fourth opinion, to be sure.

4. From the title alone I thought she had given birth to Spiderman or something. I was awfully disappointed.

5. Is it possible you arent getting the full story about what the doctor told her? The questions can be resolved with tests which almost certainly would be done before a diagnosis

6. Doctor can swap sores if they’re present to test, but if they’re not there the only way to know is with a blood test for antibodies. If the outbreak is her first she may test negative since her body might not have made antibodies yet and this might be why the doctor didn’t do the blood test. You should get tested to see if you had a past infection. You can spread HSV1 from mouth to genitals. Oral herpes usually causes outbreaks when the face is exposed to the sun. Genital HSV1 has a bad first outbreak, but subsequent outbreaks are usually mild and often disappear after one year.

7. HSV can be asymptomatic for YEARS. In other words, neither of you may have cheated and yes, she can get a first OB even 20 years later. You can spread it without an OB.

   Unless the two of you had negative std tests with HSV included (bc they don’t test for it without being asked or without an active OB), prior to having sex, you’ll never know when she had it. Or who had it and gave it to the other.

   Doesn’t matter if you’ve never had an Ob. There’s something called prodome. So even asymptomatic people still shed the virus via prodome. Hence why HSV spreads so easily.

   Also, next time an OB happens, go to the doctor immediately and get a pcr swab. If you go too late, you can get a false negative.

   I’m sorry yall are going through this.

8. Have the two of you ever been tested before? You can have herpes & never in your life have an outbreak. With outbreaks, doctors will swab the area to confirm. (I do not believe the doctor did not do this with your wife- possibly you aren’t getting the full story). Blood should also be drawn. The best option for you is to get tested on your own so you know what you have/if you have anything.

9. Possibilities:

   1. You’re a HSV carrier and acquired the virus as a child or another time when someone innocently kissed you on the mouth. You went down on her at just the right time and passed HSV to her unknowingly. The virus can be pass along without any symptoms being present.
   2. Someone else innocently kissed her on the mouth. She passed it to you. You went down on her at just the right time and passed it back to her. (This is rather far fetched though)
   3. Someone else. a lover. went down on her at just the right time and passed HSV to her. IMO, based on what else written in your post, being distant, rarely wants sex, accusing questions, this is the most likely scenario. BTW, the lover could be male or female.

10. It sounded like the cast of heroes reunited or something

11. You didn’t cheated, but she did.

12. I have only had a herpes outbreak twice in my life: once when I got pregnant and once when I got cancer. Both times my immune system took a dip and the dormant virus broke free. I would never have known I had it otherwise. I don’t know who I got it from but my husband and I had been together years by then.

13. Your body keeps the virus in check, some people have it and never have outbreaks. You get older immune system weakens a bit and outbreaks occur. Over 80-90% of population has HSV1 wether they know it or not

14. Is she spending more time than usual on her phone? Late night texting? I think we all know where this is going and I’m sorry

15. A lot of people carry the herpes virus, so probably she caught it from you

16. It is possible that either of you could have had it from prior to you even meeting and never had symptoms, either she just had it lying dormant or you did and passed it along to her without having ever realised in the absense of any symptoms. Don’t start fretting about infidelity if you have no other reason to suspect.

17. >The doctor is saying it is an oral herpes outbreak

    Um, what? Oral herpes occurs *on the mouth*.

    What your so-called “doctor” probably meant is that she has HSV-1 on her genitals. HSV-1 is more commonly found on the mouth.

    >I definitely have never strayed. I just don’t really feel like she is capable of it either

    My money is on misdiagnosis then. It’s reasonably common, and since your doctor is obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed, it’s even more likely.

    Another possibility is that one or both of you has been HSV+ since before you met, and this just happens to be the first outbreak.

    Or, you got oral herpes by sharing a water-glass with someone and then went down on your wife.

    Or, I guess, your HSV+ neighbor ate out your wife. Anything is possible.