Sooo long story short, I’ve been dating this guy I met online for the past 5 weeks, it wasn’t very serious, we only made out, didn’t sleep together.
In the beginning it was great and I thought we hit it off, but lately I’ve noticed that he started acting a bit like he was losing interest (he sometimes responded to my text after hours even though he was online etc) so I also distanced myself a little bit (because I didn’t want to be all over him when he obviously wasn’t sure about me).
Two days ago things changed a bit, he was texting me a lot and saying nice things and yesterday he invited me over to his place to hang out (all of our previous dates were in public, so it felt like a step in the right direction). Today, when I asked him what time should I get there, he broke it off over a text. He said he just wasn’t ready after his last break up (which was in June with a girl who he didn’t even really date because she wasn’t interested).
My question is whether I should reply or just leave it on read. I have to admit here that my ego is a little hurt by this, but otherwise I’m okay, it didn’t come as a huge surprise.. I guess I could feel it coming.
It’s just such a bullshit you know? Last night he invited me over, we were picking out movies to watch, and today he breaks it off?? What the hell happened over night? I feel like he’s not being honest with me and it kinda bugs me, even though he might be doing that to spare my feelings.
So what would you guys do now? Should I just leave it on read or should I say something? If so, then what? Should I call him out and ask why did he even invite me over yesterday?
25 comments
You can if you feel the pressing need to get the last word in or sift for answers/reasoning which won’t really offer closure.
Don’t reply, date other dudes
Idk if you have an iPhone but sometimes with people like that, I just like their message and delete their number and conversation.
You’re not going to get closure by venting at him. Just leave him on read and find someone better
You admitted it yourself that it was not that serious, your ego is simply bruised. That’s ok. We’ve all been there and it sucks. But you know damn well that this wasn’t going anywhere so why reach out?
Settle the matter with a graceful text and move on. Not worth your time or energy.
As to why this happened, well, there could be a few reasons but we’ll never really know. My personal guess is that he was trying to move on but isn’t able to just yet and the new relationship feels off so he ended it out of courtesy of you. I’ve been in that situation before and that’s what happened to me, the idea of the new relationship seemed great but when in reality I wasn’t ready and couldn’t handle it.
Either way, on to bigger and better things.
-Dave
If you want to reply just say ‘ok’ and be done. Move on to someone else who is more sure of what they want.
I would reply with a “thanks for letting me know, hope you find what you’re looking for” or something like that, for me that conveys acceptance and that you don’t think it’s a big deal.
Generally I would say if things ended amicably or just naturally didn’t progress further, a quick “all good/ok, take care” is simple and gracious
Given what you’ve shared and feeling the way you do. I think it’s in your best interest to just delete the message, his contact and keep it moving.
Just leave it on read. He was playing with you
call him out on what? whats that going to accomplish. It sucks but best to move
on.
Don’t reply
Just hit him with the
👍
It sounds like he was trying to give it a go, and decided it wasn’t something he should pursue for himself at this time. I wouldn’t take it personally, just as a gift in ways that he’s letting you know he’s not your person and giving you the space to find what you’re wanting with someone else.
The choice is really up to you on if you respond at all, or how you respond. A couple questions for you if you do. Are you hoping that responding will change something, and if so what? How do you want to show up at the end of relationships, for yourself and for the relationship? Is that venting and being seen in how you’re feeling, is that being grateful for the spaces/moments you shared together and compassionately stepping away, is it something else completely?
The thing is you get a choice, and that choice is yours.
Best wishes on your dating adventures ❤️
Nah, don’t waste a text on him. Maybe he isn’t ready, or maybe he has something else lined up. Date someone who puts time and effort into you.
Just respond ok cool.
And that’s it.
I think the real power move here is to ignore the text and block him.
Him being hung up on someone he didn’t even date is a red flag imo. You’re probably dodging a bullet.
Leave it on read. If you do respond. Just say “thx, wish you the best.” Not even worth giving him more effort.
You can simply say “Thanks for letting me know. I hope you find peace someday. Take care”. Don’t ask him any more questions. His reasons don’t matter. He made his decision not to have you in his life. Take the hint and move on. You can end things nice and sweet.
I’d probably just give them an “Okay, good luck with things.” and leave it at that. Basically so they know you got the text. And if they ever texted again, not answer it.
It sucks that he broke it off so soon and abruptly, but he doesn’t owe you a more thorough explanation than what you already have. Sounds like he’s indecisive, so you may have dodged a bullet. You can wish him well or not, but there is no reason to say anything more.
The best piece of advice I ever got with dating was “match their energy” and it applies to every part of dating and relationships. 50/50 is the only way things work, ever. If this guy isn’t putting in the effort and reciprocating what you are, sack him off and get someone who will.
Let Chatgpt write a response
leave his ass on read, go find a man who deserves your time and genuinely wants you. as far as i’m concerned he can go fuck himself, act like you don’t care and it’ll get him thinking
He obviously having someone else and you are his back up plans.do not text him
Back. Move on and block him.