Ive been playing a game like forever now, i met a few close friends on that game, we almost always are together playing games and talking on discord. They’re not irl friends yet they’re the closest person ive ever had in my whole life.
One day, one of my friend in our friend group confessed to me that he liked me. I rejected, but he insisted, saying if i can give him a chance i can see the potential he had. I explained why i rejected him, basically saying that im not okay with LDR and wouldn’t want to date unless its mutual. He still insisted, it got to a point where it’s getting awkward between us. we still talks and hangout together on discord with our others friends, but whenever it is only me and him i always felt pressured, almost like i have to be on alert mode.
Every moment with him alone felt like he is going to drop a bomb, i know i said it like it is the end of the world, but the last thing i want to deal after a long day of classes and chasing deadlines is someone pressuring and pushing his feelings on me. i appreciated it but he made it hard for me to stay nice.
Fast forward after few weeks, im getting busy with my finals, and hardly could even talk to them, he has been texting me saying that im ignoring him, and me who have been working all day and exhausted from finals really didnt take it well, it felt like i somehow owe him an explanation and somehow i have to text him everyday without fails as if it is my task, i told him nicely that im not ignoring him and im just tired and couldnt text back, he said okay and we moved on. he still send me texts and i had muted my notif so i wont be disturbed, when i got time to reply back he asked me what took me so long to reply, i told him i muted my notif to stay focus, he replied telling me to turn them back on, thats when i had enough.
i talked to my other friend about the situation, she told me to get some time off from social media. And here comes the stupidest things ive ever done, i deleted my socials media, i quit the game, i quit our server and blocked them, heck i even deleted my fb.
This is definitely not what my friend tell me to do but, at the time i felt like i could finally rest. After few months, i graduated, got awards, searching for jobs and stuffs, i feels like things are getting better for me after i quit the game. Although things couldn’t get any better than this i cant lie i still miss them.
These few months i tried picking up new hobbies and new interests and i still couldn’t stop but thinking about them and how much fun we had. I wanted to reach out to them but i didnt have the courage to do so.
Yesterday i reinstalled the game and saw him online. I started to think about how i was such a baby for couldn’t even handle such a minor issue back then, to the point i have to basically ghosted them and disappear from them without any explanation. even i will be hurt if someone i love did that to me. i regretted everything i did, i know i could’ve done better, maybe just give him a little time to cooldown and move on. we could’ve still be friends.
i was thinking if i should reach out to him and apologise to him or not? maybe i should just move on and leave the past behind?
5 comments
You are being way too hard on yourself. He ignored everything you said and basically demanded you respond to him daily. You took some time off which seemed good for your mindset. Now you’re only remembering the fun gaming time, not the reality that he was a bit obsessed. You can play again, but you did nothing to apologize for. I doubt you can be friends in real life but maybe in the game if he behaves himself.
Look, don’t be too hard on yourself. We all handle stress differently. If you miss the group, reach out. But maybe keep it casual and see how they respond before diving into apologies.
You don’t really have anything to lose if you try. If they accept you again in group then maybe you will rebuild your friendships if they won’t accept you well you tried and you will be sure that you should move on.
How long between the deleting of social media and reinstalling of the game?
Also you’ll never get back the same friends or rather the same connection with these people not because of something you did but rather they are at different points in their lives with different priorities.
People seldom think about you as much as you think they do… Unless you were in some way malicious to them.. if not chill… And make new friends… Even if it is with the same people… And tell loverboy to move on if he attempts to rekindle something…
OP – in all honesty, it sounded like he subjected you to a low-level campaign of harassment. Not hostile, but just not getting the picture that you were not interested. He is the one who needs to apologize, not you. When I was younger, if I showed interest in someone and approached them, if they said they were not interested, I moved on.