I think I overreacted by getting upset at my boyfriend for giving me the same gift 3 times in a row (they were sweets but in different forms) because I felt like he doesn’t pay attention to the things I like and don’t like and does whatever he wants when I always try to ask him even if subtly about the things he likes and dislikes to apply in the future. I’ve given him different things for his birthdays and even random gifts from cheap to expensive.
The first time he gave me sweets for my birthday were chocolate cupcakes and I was really happy since thar’s also my favorite flavor.
The second time it was a really big tres leches cake that I couldn’t finish even after giving it away to some people and had to throw away a bit less than a half of it. I’m not a fan of that flavor but he said it was his favorite so it’s fine. And I let him know I wouldn’t want a cake again but I think he got offended and said he never got cake on his birthdays when he was younger.
The third time this time were 2 packaged cups of tres leches and a piece of flan, hershey mini chocolates and a small pack of nut blend. I really liked the nut blend but I don’t like to eat flan nor am I a fan of tres leches. This made me upset because he could’ve at least made sure by asking me months ago like I do? And I’ve also told him I don’t like flan before.
The other things that upset me was him not congratulating me when he saw me but turns out he was planning to wait until he gave me the gift at 2pm to do it and it made me think he forgot so I asked and said my friend did it first but that made him upset because he said I was comparing him to my friend. I was already annoyed at this point and unfortunately I lashed out and broke up with him even if he always says he loves me deeply.
But he had these sweets in his car and gave them to me 4.5 hours later. 2 days later I still don’t feel like trying to eat them because I feel grossed out about it staying out in room temperature for that long.
Maybe the annoyance accumulated, I don’t know. Because he usually does the same thing even when I’ve communicated multiple times before and then acts like a victim when I get angry. For example, when I’ve told him multiple times to be slow during foreplay and he might listen like one or two times and then go back to “forgetting” and hurting me in the end. He doesn’t always act like this, he’s been sweet a lot of times.
But I just don’t get it. Why are some men like this? Does he pretend to love me or does he actually do? Because I truly feel like he doesn’t.
1 comment
Is there anything wrong with directly telling your partner what you would like for your bday?
I know we would all want our partner to “know what to get” and should just “understand me” kind of gifts.
But the world doesn’t work like that…
Maybe next time around, we tell him:
>No sweets this year…. And I would like to go out for dinner instead.
There is nothing wrong with telling your partner straight up what you want for your bday instead of expecting them to hit a home run and nail the execution.
This is a seperate issue worth addressing:
>For example, when I’ve told him multiple times to be slow during foreplay and he might listen like one or two times and then go back to “forgetting” and hurting me in the end.
I feel that is contributing overall. When you have multiple things that feel like they don’t go your way, its easier to let small things blow up to become larger than it needs to be.