Because I know it’s going to be brought up, the only porn I watch is the very very armature stuff that is clearly taken from an iphone or webcam and likely meant for someones onlyfans, as well as webcam sites. I hate anything production.
That aside though…
I do feel like most women want a dominant man in bed. One who takes control and idk, treats her like a “sex toy?” and just “uses” her for his satisfaction. Obvoiusly this isn’t all women and applies to some but at the same time, I think it applies to more women than not..
I am NOT a dominate kind of man in any way. It’s just not my personality. I’m not a pushover by any means either but like, it’s just not in my natural behavior I guess. I wish it were to an extent and as dumb or lame as this sounds, I’m a respectful man and want to make sure she feels respected, comfortable, not pressured into xyz, etc… so idk.
I really like “vanilla” sex a lot and I know that’s boring to a lot of women but, I love it.
Is this something that can be learned or is it more instincual?
Oh and, I’ve never actually tried to be sexually “dominant” so for all I know, I am lol.
8 comments
Bend her over, smack her ass, man gander her a bit maybe some choking if they are into it. Thank kind of thing.
I’m a non-sadist dominant myself.
My focus is on doing things that showcase how much stronger than her I am.
Lifting her up, repositioning her, moving her limbs into position, holding her wrist or hand in place and similar.
I don’t tend to think most women want “dominant” in the sense of “rough” or sadistic. A lot of women like their man to be strong, and being reminded of that strength in a sexual setting is very dominant.
Being gentle and dominant actually requires a larger strength disparity than being rougher.
So if that sounds like your vibe, go ahead and get some basic handweights (or fill a couple of old plastic bottles with water for a cheap DIY option) and get a good routine of bicep curls, pushups and crunches going!
I’m writing this as a woman.
Everything depends on a partner and her preferences. You shouldn’t try to be forcefully dominating because that’s just going to stress you out and sex is about pleasure of both of you.
Also it’s not true that most women want a man who cares only about himself. Of course that may be a kink for someone but it should be something you both agree to and clearly talk about.
Actually women like it if you try your best to please them. You always get these bonus points for trying your best. If she thinks that you do something wrong and doesn’t tell you that then it’s not your fault, she sucks at communicating.
So the best you can do is to learn how to physically please a woman, about what not to do. DON’T LEARN THAT FROM PORN! It mostly shows what looks good and doesn’t necessarily feel good. Also it’s usually meant to fulfill fantasies of men as they’re the main target.
Other than that just be yourself and you’re eventually going to find a suitable partner even if you aren’t super dominating. It always should be fun for both sides
So, while not direct advice, here’s one trick that took me WAY TOO LONG to learn:
Just ask. Literally ask her what she likes, what gets her turned on, what she has liked in the past and what she wants to try. (Probably also spend a little time telling her what you like too).
Then …do some of that.
I hold my girls hands when we are fucking or grab her breast when I am eating her out. Shit like that drives her nuts. In doggy, I grab and hold her hips, sometimes pull her hair. Dominant is attached to our lizzard brain as just being aggressive as a male.
Dominant to me means you are strong. You know what you want. You pay attention to my signals and lead sex in a way that is pleasurable to both
Not all women want that….
What do YOU like in bed? Find a woman that likes what you like.
My wife likes me to be dominant, but I’m not larger than she is (I’m a good bit stronger). She doesn’t like degradation and isn’t a masochist. It took some communication and practice to get things right.
She likes me to exert control. Hold her down. Tell her what to do. Put her into positions. A little bit of spanking or choking or hair pulling is okay, but nothing too intense. Basically, she’s looking for me to take charge, without pushing past her comfort zone. It’s a fine line.