How do you deal with your partner needing a lot of alone time?

24 comments

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2. It usually meant the end of the relationship

3. I’m the same way, so nothing to deal with 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. I remind myself that it isn’t personal, it’s how he recharges. And I also communicate my need of quality time together so that we strike a balance.

5. I also need a lot of alone time, so I found someone I can be alone with. We can spend hours in the same room, doing totally separate activities, not talking to each other for hours. That might sound some kind of way, but it’s lovely. We’ll occasionally shoot each other some finger guns, but for the most part, we’re just alone together.

6. Tbf it depends on how much is “a lot”. A few hours a week is a golden invitation to take a fun class he doesn’t like, hang out with your friends, go shopping, work out etc. Multiple nights a week for hours on end means you stress him out.

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8. Kiddnap them

9. Give it to him.

10. As long as it’s not ignoring my needs or affecting the relationship I just do my own thing. Many times it was though and we’re now in couples therapy where we learned he has an avoidant attachment style. Alone time is fine but neglecting your partner is not, so it’s important to know the difference there.

11. I’m not sure what the definition of a lot is, but for all the nights where I leave him alone with minimal or no chat, he’ll be texting me the next day about something or other he is excited about. It balances out.

12. By also needing a lot of alone time lol

13. I’m the one that needs the alone time. It’s vital for my functioning so I need a partner who understands and accepts this. Has nothing to do with them. This is something that should be discussed within the relationship.

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16. I’d be fine with it. I need time to myself, so it’d be nice to have a partner that needs that too. Otherwise I’d always feel a little guilty indulging in my alone time if my partner didn’t naturally enjoy his alone time too.

17. I’m great with that. Unless change is sudden then I’m concerned. But I also need quite a bit of alone time.

18. You have to find someone who’s compatible with your dating needs.

    If they require much more alone time than you’re used to, you may never be able to deal with it

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20. It’s me, I’m the partner that needs a lot of alone time. If you love and care about this person, communicate on how you can both get your needs met. Maybe check ins by text? Phone calls if they are away at certain intervals? There is a solution somewhere if you can openly talk about it

21. Find your non negotiables .
    My ex had an avoidant style and this alone time got so much at a point that there was zero us time .

    Even if I was at his place, i wouldn’t feel appreciated.
    He would just be on his PC all the time and would only come when he was done .

    Once I distracted him and he shouted at me .
    I ignored these things in the relationships but now I am realising how much space is negotiable for me in the long run and how much isn’t .

    Take some space from your partner and see if it’s your negotiable thing or not.

22. My partner doesn’t need a lot of alone time. There are times where he’s in the living room on his computer or listening to music for hours ALONE. And I’ll be in the room by myself watching tv or something.
    So with that being said I don’t care about him having his alone time all the time, sometimes partners need that spaces. That’s just his way of relaxing and chilling🤷🏽‍♀️

23. See this is why I can’t do relationships because I need a lot of alone time and some may interpret that in other ways.

24. My partner and I both love our alone time, so it works out. I couldn’t date someone that wanted to hangout more than 2-3x/week, it’d feel smothering