Is it inappropriate for 18f & 25m to date, given that both live with parents and neither have responsibilities or careers?

42 comments

1. What? Why on earth would that be a problem?

2. As long as you don’t have the same parents.

   The rough guide is half your age plus seven.

3. At 25 would I have wanted to go out with an 18 year old? No, I’d been a teacher for two years at that point and knew well that 18 year olds are just as big a dickheads as 16 year olds, I certainly was at that age.
   However do I think it’s morally wrong? No

4. Why would it be inappropriate to you? You seem to be hung up on people with age gaps having relationships judging from previous post history

5. I’m sure there are some situations where it can work but I’m 18 and would definitely feel weird going outwith a 25 year old. They’re significantly more mature, even if they dont have much more experience with jobs or responsibilities or whatever. It just wouldn’t feel right at all.

6. Just make sure you use birth control, so no unexpected pregnancies wait to you are both more stable

7. I don’t know how the circumstances would be inappropriate but 18 is still an adult. 7 years seems like a lot however but that’s just me and if I for instance had a 25 year old friend dating an 18 year old, I wouldn’t think it was inappropriate, I’d just mind my own business.

   I did chat with a 19 year old when I was about 24 and she was so immature, it just reminded me why i preferred women my age or older

8. Hi, I’ve been in this exact situation. Do whatever feels right for you and fuck what anybody else thinks. You’re both adults. We’re currently engaged and have been together for over three years now. Parents on both sides are great. Do what makes you happy.

9. Not wrong I don’t age gaps of any magnitude are really wrong but I do think the younger age of either sex should be a bit higher than 18 once the gap goes a bit higher than 4. 18,25 a little off 21,28 fine sort of thing

10. It’s just f@cking so who cares? What di you have in common? Boning.

11. 25 still living with parents, you both have a young mentality so go for it

12. In most cases I would consider it inappropriate, the level of life experience an 18 year old has SHOULD be significantly less than a 25 year old. I’ve seen a few relationships with that exact age gap (at those ages) and there was always a huge uneven power dynamic. They were not healthy relationships.

    At 25 a lot of people are half a decade into their adult lives- job, friendships etc. 18 year olds are school kids.

13. My now wife was 19 and we first started talking on my 25th birthday. Worked out well for us. We got a house in 2020 and got married this year

14. Ehh I was 19 when I started seeing my partner who was 28. It depends on the people I think

15. At 25 I started a relationship with a 19 year old, we were together for 5 years and it enriched both our lives. No regrets.

16. Morally it’s shakey, legally it’s fine.. but a 25 year old with no responsibilities or career? They need a rocket up their arse.

    I might be middle-aged now, but I remember as a 3rd year uni student looking at how young the 1st years (18 y.o.) were. Even 18 to 21 are big jumps in mentality.. 18 to 25 is huge.

17. My wife was almost 19 when we met, I was just past 25 I’m 56 now she will be 50 soon. still the love of my life and still very happy did the age difference ever worry? No. My uncle was 10 years older than my aunt and where married for 60 years. You love who you love.

18. I don’t think it’s super wrong (but she has just finished school and you’re well out), but I’m definitely wondering why neither of you have jobs or responsibilities?

19. I would feel uncomfortable doing that personally. Such a big gap in life experience and growth

20. do you love each other ?

    that is the only real question, you are both adults and have known greater age differences.

21. It’s quite a large age gap when you’re only 18, but if you’re at similar life stages it’s not inappropriate.

    I was 18 and my now-husband was 23 when we got together – but we were at the same life stage having both just started at the same university – I’d gone straight from A Levels whereas he’d left school at 17 to work for a while before going back to do an access course.

22. It doesn’t matter to anyone but yourselves.

23. There’s a cultural element to it. In the UK I don’t think many would see it as a problem at all. But maybe if you’ve spent too much time on certain subs on here then Americans seem to think any age gap beyond 3 weeks is perverted, creepy etc etc

24. Literally half the country have wanked to 18 y/o on porn sites. But it’s weird 25 year old dates them? With a normal 7 year gap? Get a grip.

25. I met my wife when I was 27 and she was 19. We’ve been together getting on 10 years now. We are married with kids, dogs and a lovely house. We met on a night out and didn’t share our ages at the time but it was a love at first sight situation. The second I set eyes on her.

26. Like any other comments suggest, are you comfortable sharing your relationship with your friends and him with his? There are going to be a lot of emotional development differences.

27. I married my husband at 25 and he was 32, 7 year age gap, nothing wrong with that but honestly if I would have met him when I was 18 and him 25 we would have hated each other. Sometimes he says things and he forgets how much younger I am than him, best one was when he said his mum panicked and called him when 9/11 happened (he was a foreginer working in the USA at the time) and then I remembered I was in my first year in secondary school (junior high)

    I feel you grow up alot in your mid to late 20s.

28. Crack on mate if it’s consensual there’s nothing wrong.

29. I’d be much more worried about the fact there is a 25 year old man who is probably behind on getting himself started in life. Unless he’s still studying?

30. As they’re both living with parents and have no careers they’re probably at fairly similar points in their life, so I don’t really see how there’s much of a power imbalance.

    I don’t think that gap is inherently bad tbh.

31. Are you the 18f in this scenario?

32. Divide by 2 and add 7. 25 is 12.5 add 7 is 19 and a half.

33. Both are legal adults so no problem there. If neither has any influence or responsibility for or over each other (say through a youth group or similar) then there should be no problem.

34. I met my ex when I was 16 and he was 23 (same age gap). We were together for 6 years.

    As soon as I got to the age of 21/22 I found it increasingly weirder that someone in their 20s would be attracted to a 16-18 year old. I know 16 is a little younger, but it was still “technically legal”. Even 18 year olds seemed like babies to me as soon as I hit 22.

    For us, there wasn’t an imbalanced power dynamic outside of the age. He wasn’t abusive or controlling, and was a nice guy, but I ended up basically growing out of him because he never really matured.

    Not saying you can’t have a healthy relationship, but just be wary you may end up wanting different things at different stages. I now also feel weird and dirty when I think about having been with him, because on some level it was all a bit fucked up and I would have felt better being with people my own age.

35. Been there, done that… we ended up married, together for 12 years & had 2 kids, so I can’t regret it.

    That said I’d been living alone for ages by then & had been through one job, left & started my own business, so maybe encourage him to get a move on with his intended life plan!

36. Man the moral puritanism pendulum has swung all the way over.

    If two young people want a chance at happiness and all is above the law- let them try.

37. Legal, isnt it.

38. Look, the rule is half your age, plus seven.

    25/2=12.5,
    12.5+7=19.5.

    She is too young for you, fellow UKer.

39. I was 24 when my gf was 18. I’m now 30, and she’s 24. Life couldn’t be better. We own 3 homes together, have 2 amazing dogs, have traveled the world, have lived on both sides of the country, and have plans for the next 50 years together.

    People will judge you at first, but you can prove them wrong. Just don’t be some abusive fuckwad.

40. Why would an 18 year old want to date a 25 year old with no prospects? Sounds like a dead end relationship the 25 year old will drag the 18 year old down and neither will have careers or jobs or be able to afford to live together.

    The age gap isn’t the issue here. Both are in different places mentally. At 25 I wouldn’t have wanted to hang around with 18 year olds.

41. When I started dating my ex, I was 17 and he 24. Let’s just see there was a reason why he couldn’t get a woman his own age.

    If I could turn back the clock, I wouldn’t have done it again.

    Ultimately your decision but when I the 17 year old reached my 20s it started to bother me how fucked up it was and how different our stages of life were.

42. Half your age plus 7 (=19), so the answer is no.