I am 25f and my little sister is 16. She calls me today and tells me she just had sex with her boyfriend also 16 unprotected and doesn’t know if he nut in her. I played it cool and told her I appreciate her telling me but that if she thinks he came in her than he needs to buy you a plan b. Funny thing is I just quit my pharmacy job where i could’ve bought it for her. Anyway I’m kind of pissed off at her while I told her maybe last year the risk that comes with unprotected sex like pregnancy and stds. She’s a teen so she thinks she knows it all but now calling me frantic like she doesn’t know what to do now. I wanna tell our mother but when it’s the topic of sex my mom completely shuts down because my mom is HIV positive. My mom also knew that my sister wanted to have sex since last year and I advised her to put her on birth control but my mom thinks her being in BC will result in my sister having sex with multiple men which is crazy. I have 5 months worth of birth control that my doctor prescribed me that I’m not taking and I’m considering giving it to my sister. If I tell my mom she’s having sex she will punish my sister and my sister would completely lose trust in me. I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m going to buy her the plan b as well as multiple condoms but it hurts to potentially see her make the same decisions as me when I was her age. I honestly don’t even know how I made it through my teen years my mom never taught me anything which is sad but my sister should not go through the same thing.
6 comments
Okay there is so much to unpack here
Firstly, don’t be mad at her for making mistakes you’re still also making, or that anyone can make at anytime, we are human and make mistakes
Secondly, you shouldn’t tell your mother, of course you shouldn’t , your sister bestowed upon you in that moment the ability to be a sister, someone who is there for her always through life
Thirdly, you say that you were failed by your mother and made mistakes because you weren’t taught properly. This is your opportunity to do that, not to just sit with her and comfort her, but educate herself together on how to avoid this in the future
One sister to another x
I’m the oldest sister myself, and can see where you are coming from to an extent.
That said I agree with the other comment. You don’t tell your mom, especially knowing she will be punished for a NORMAL mistake that even you just stated you made yourself and was sad to hear she is following the same path. All things that your mother not teaching either of you anything about sex led to this moment. She trusts you, she came to you when she had no one else to come too. Now is the perfect time to be the big sister you were made to be. Your mother won’t be around her whole life.
There’s a higher change you will even being almost 10 years older than her. You are who she will have when your parents are no longer on this earth. Teach her what you have learned, and be compassionate. She is terrified and clearly knows she made a mistake.
I’m not saying coddle her, but aiding into her anxiety with anger for a mistake she sees herself and telling your mother knowing the outcome is just straight negative and unhelpful will not help her.
Do the big sister thang, respectfully. Who else will she turn to if you show you are not trust worthy when shit hits the fan? Then she will feel far more alone than she probably already does now. Teenage years are the hardest, you feel the least understood and like people just don’t care. Don’t prove her right.
Scarleteen and emergency contraception and condoms.
Your mom doesn’t sound like a safe or reliable parent in this regard.
Bring her a plan b. Then talk to her and see how she feels. Then of course ask her to be smart about it in the future. That’s it. She knows
Buy the plan B don’t tell the mum . Be there for your sister we all make silly decisions when we are you and they don’t need to go back to mum . Buy her condoms too and have a talk, tell her you are there for her 🙂