So it’s stupid and dumb but this guy I’ve been dating is really great and I’m scared. We’re two highly driven people, nerds, and generally really happy together. He listens to me, he dotes on me, he’ll compliment me and get me these thoughtful gifts. We both like touch, we try anything we can for the other, we engage in each other’s interests. I have this guy listening to me and my rants about history, politics, and all that crap and I listen to him gushing over screws and bolts. We have dated a little over a year, and were friends before this, we talk about everything… why am I overthinking this?
I sometimes fall asleep and have these awful dreams about us not being together. Obviously we can both change as people and maybe grow apart as we continue in college, and him in a career as he is set to graduate before me. I stare at the art piece he designed and commissioned and slapped on a displate in my room a lot. We both talk in maybes and these long “hypothetically, if we were too…(insert long term relationship idea)” statements and it’s really nice and sweet and terrifying. I can see a future with him, hell I catch myself planning on one. But I’m young. He might get shipped off halfway across the country in a year and a half on an internship. We’ve talked about how that would affect us as well. He’s brought up some serious long term shit
I think I’m just caught up in my own head, and maybe paranoid as I look at other people’s relationships and fear for my own. But he’s really good to me in every way. Why am I so stupidly nervous about this and how I stop fretting. I should be writing an essay right now but I’m thinking about this. ;-;
TLDR, Being in a supportive relationship for over a year terrifies me and I want to stop feeling so nervous about this
2 comments
I have a similar relationship with my then girlfriend, now wife. Just continue communicating your thoughts. Some people just get lucky and find really quality partners. My wife’s parents have been married for almost 30 years now, and I plan stay with her that long, and longer.
We instantly clicked from day 1 and I knew our relationship was going to be something special. We’ve had no fights ever and we both get nervous about losing each other, but as long as you talk to each other about it (I’m in the Navy so I also spend a lot of time away from her) you guys will do fine.
By any chance do you have a history of toxic relationships and/or a difficult relationship with your parents?