TW: SA
I (19F) have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, we both had our first time at the start of our relationship and have kept things active since then.
I don’t know if internet just makes everything seem better than it really is, but I really don’t find sex amazing and I always feel like I can’t really feel what people say. I remember when I first started masturbating and everything felt REALLY good, I mean REALLY REALLY good, but the sensation just kept getting less amazing throughout the years (adding a point that I never enjoyed penetration even before, I just liked to stimulate my clit). Now I don’t know if it’s because I was porn addicted some time ago and used to masturbate 3 times a day, or if it’s just normal that you get used to the sensation. One more thing is that I think I’ve never had an orgasm before, I kept getting to a point it just became painful and not enjoyable anymore.
The thing is, I used to have a high sex drive and I would get very wet even from getting near people I was attracted to, but by the end of 2021 I was SA’d by my best friend at the time, and since then things just got worse. My sex drive is still high, but I can’t get as near as wet as before, sometimes I don’t even get wet, at the begging of my relationship I thought it was normal because I was nervous and it would get better with time. It didn’t.
At the start I thought it was also because my boyfriend used to skip foreplay, but we’ve spending more than an hour on them and it feels exactly the same way. I always feel sore after because I can’t get lubricated enough.
I enjoy sex, I really do, but not because of the pleasure and just because I feel loved. I used to not care about barely feeling something but nowadays I’ve been more and more frustrated because I want to actually feel something and feel good, and I’ve been not wanting to do it anymore for this reason, I’m desperate. I don’t feel connected to my boyfriend and keep overthinking during sex if I’m doing things right and why I can’t get off.
I don’t know if there’s a solution for my problem, but I wanted to find if more people felt this way and what they did to it. If the text feels like it’s missing information you can ask me in the replies, english is not my first language and I’m very bad at putting my thoughts into text