I’m 22, young so naturally I come across people like this all the time. They are quick to shut down my ideas or my thoughts on certain things but when someone much older than me says the same thing I’m saying, that’s whenever people want to listen. I’ll give you a perfect example. I have this coworker who’s 28 and she hasn’t experienced half of what I have. I’m not bashing this woman but let me tell you how behind she is compared to me. I have been in more relationships than she has, they may not be long term but she’s still stuck on her ex boyfriend from middle school and she’s 28! She’s never owned one vehicle her entire life. I’ve owned 4 different cars! Even had one stolen from me and I bounced right back and got another car. I have my own apartment, I live alone. She’s 28 and never even moved out of her parent’s house.
Long story short, I’ve experienced more than her even tho I’m much younger than her. One day she kept cutting me off and telling me what to do with my life and that’s when I said to her “How are you going to tell me about something when I’ve experienced more than you? You are only telling me based off what you know not on experiences” I’ve noticed people that are basically virgins to the real world who talk down on me for being young so “there’s no way you know anything.” Right, I don’t know everything.
Even when I’m 45 I still am not going to know everything but one thing I do know is, I have been through More stuff than she has. I noticed it’s always the individuals who haven’t accomplished anything trying to tell me what to do or how to live my life.I cut her off back and said “I’m not done talking. You’re not even listening to me.” I’ve noticed since that day, she doesn’t speak to me the same as she did before. She respects my opinions a lot more and doesn’t dismiss what I say or my ideas. She was just one example but I’ve come across a few other people who have done this to me as well. How do I deal with people who act like this ?
6 comments
You don’t have to win any arguments or convince anyone of anything. Once you realise that, life becomes a lot easier.
After all, you already know what you are going to say, so you have nothing to learn by talking.
The question is, why it is important that you get acknowledgement from people like this. They have clearly demonstrated who they are., but it is important to you that they be someone else.
With a “know it all” person, at best you can state your opinion once. If they don’t listen, then on their own head it will be. However, the only thing that you need to be aware of is that, because they don’t listen to people who know better, that they are constantly surrounded by drama. So the important lesson for you is to be looking at “what are the potential consequences of their failure to listen” and then decide. So if they introduce you to their boyfriend, and you immediately get the “player” vibe from them, then you can say once “he is going to cheat on you” but then grab your bucket of popcorn and sit back and enjoy show.
On the other hand, if you say “I think you have had too much to drink” and they tell you “I actually drive better when I have had a few drinks”
don’t for any reason, get in that car.
Probably shitty examples but I think that you get what I mean.
Part of the growth into manhood is no longer needing the acknowledgement of people. Just get shit done. You will not change people like this
Good for you that you bought x-amount of cars and been through x-amount of relationships. As if those things alone define a universal human experience….
> let me tell you how behind she is compared to me. I have been in more relationships than she has, they may not be long term but she’s still stuck on her ex boyfriend from middle school and she’s 28! She’s never owned one vehicle her entire life. I’ve owned 4 different cars! Even had one stolen from me and I bounced right back and got another car. I have my own apartment, I live alone. She’s 28 and never even moved out of her parent’s house.
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You think and talk like someone with something to prove. And that’s pretty normal for someone who’s 22, don’t get me wrong. But you’re getting defensive by interpreting her advice as a challenge to your own competence and life experience and then looking for reasons to discount it.
What would happen if you let her believe she had the authority to give you advice? Would anything bad happen to you? Would it harm you?
It’s not just your age, some people are just like this. I’m 29 and my friend is 28. I made an error based on my parents advice (I should have done my own research) and got a lecture from my friend on how to be a real adult.
This person lost their license for a year because she couldn’t stop getting fined, she owed me a lot of money because of an error she made on our holiday, she had to move back home because she couldn’t budget her finances properly, which means I had to move home because I needed a roommate. This person thought that SHE would be the one to tell me how to be an adult because of one mistake, while she has several. Mind you, I didn’t lecture her once on her mistakes. It drives me insane. She also dated a younger guy briefly (about 23-24) and it would make me cringe how she would treat him like he didn’t know anything because he’s not as wise as her. lmao.
How to handle it? Well this is very dependent on the person. Honesty and politeness is always the recommended way. Just spelling out hey, I appreciate your help but I’m not asking for advice, thank you- and repeating that sentiment until they get it. I was also a little harsh with my person now it’s weird.
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