Have you ever been in a relationship with a serial cheat?

5 comments

1. if you have, you’re complicit.

2. Yes i was. It was my first long term in person relationship so i was pretty naive and didnt see any signs until i found out. Then it just never stopped. He gave me his old phone when he got a new one. I went onto the yahoo email app thinking it had been switched to my account and found hom sexting other women, talking shit about me and pulling actual “i love yous” with them. Tried to break up but that didnt work out. Then throughout the rest of the relationship it was obvious even when women werent actively hitting me up asking me to make my bf stop creeping on them until i just opened the relationship. My one boundary left was not to try anything with my family. When i found out he was being inappropriate with ny sister who had *just* turned 18 that was it for me.

3. Hello, I hope you’re doing okay. I’m concerned with this post, it’s not healthy.

   I see here yet another post that makes it sound like being happy with someone else while being forcibly separated from one’s loved one is somehow “cheating” rather than merely coping and surviving, getting the human touch, human voice, and human love that all people deserve, even if they can’t expect to hold their loved one for fifteen years.

   Like there’s a rule against being happy. It’s like you’re saying: “Hey stop cheating!! We’re torturing you here!! The rule says you have to suffer.”

   It’s not cheating, and stop calling it that. It’s coping and making do.

   What makes you think it’s your job to make someone suffer and call it cheating if he copes? Why call it cheating when you know the person is committed and you are literally and figuratively standing in the way of his monogamous relationship? Can’t you see that his coping strategy is perfectly reasonable?? What hasn’t he done already that he could still do to make the relationship work?? (I know I know he could get rich – well, there’s rules against that, too, apparently.)

   I hope you see your own need for monogamy when you make your post, and stop projecting it on other people who are doing their best to achieve exactly that.

   What do you really need? Are you in some culture that forces serial dating and restricts monogamous relationships? How could you change that culture most effectively?

   Humans work best in monogamous relationships with one spouse they can see, talk to, touch, hold, kiss, and love whenever they both want. If they can’t have that due to external factors, they will make do. That’s not cheating, it’s being human. What do you need in your own life that keeps you from understanding that? How does it make you feel?

4. I am a serial cheat to my wife I love variety and doubt I will ever change.

5. No but my friend was. He was trying to at least communicate as it bugged him a lot too he wasn’t a total asshole but then again…. Glad to not have him around these last few years.