My girlfriend of 2 years barely texts me back anymore and does not answer my calls. We met in college and are long distance — she lives in NJ and I live in NY about a 2 hour drive away. We have not seen each other except for when she comes for the day for my cousins weddings then leaves immediately after or early in the morning, she also keeps denying me asking when I can come visit her with what sound to me like poor excuses (ie, getting windows replaced), we no longer FaceTime or watch our shows together and she doesn’t even text me good morning or good night back anymore (something we always did) let alone she loves me. When she answers my texts it’s very brief and she will take 24 hours to respond. The times I do get her to answer my calls too she is very short with me. I thought it was because she has been working a lot and that she goes to bed when she gets home but she just told me she only works 30 hour weeks. It is also hard not to take it personally when I see she makes plans to hang out with her friends and not me, granted this could just be because it is simpler to go to bars with her hometown friends on a whim than plan something with me who will take 2 hours to get there but I usually spend multiple days when I visit her. Things have started changing after graduation when she did not get me a graduation, birthday or anniversary card or gift. Further, I was even forgotten about when they booked the plans to go to Nashville and Knoxville to see Thomas Rhett, one of our favorite singers, despite being invited months ago. Should I be worried and am I missing something? Is she no longer interested but afraid to hurt me so she is disconnecting/detaching? I’ve tried having this conversation with her to get on the same page but she usually ignores it or dismisses it or nothing changes — but I can’t help but think I’m doing something wrong. I know people might say I need to consider whether this is a healthy emotionally fulfilling relationship for me considering my own well-being, but I am just not ready to move on, I still love her very much and don’t know how else I can show it to her. This has all been so hard on me because we were always so close and something shifted dramatically so randomly and while I may be being too “emotionally demanding” I just miss what we used to have.
TL;DR: Long distance GF became really disconnected in the last few months — am I missing something?
2 comments
Move on. If a person is interested in you they would be in touch.
>Should I be worried and am I missing something?
I hate being so blunt but I can’t think of a nicer way to say it. She’s basically dumped you but hasn’t told you. I honestly don’t know why people do this. I can’t imagine just phasing someone out like this, it’s not even a hard conversation to say that it’s over.
I would advise you to stop messaging/calling her. Just don’t do anything for the next couple of weeks and see if she bothers to contact you. If you don’t hear from her, you’ve got your answer.
Sorry that you’ve had to go through this, it really sucks xxx