Ok so this might not make much sense but oh well. Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together for over a year but we’ve only been engaging in sexual stuff for a few months since we’re both each others firsts. I’ve given him handjobs and gone down on him multiple times and he always finishes, but we’ve only ever done hand stuff on my end, and I’ve never been able to finish. I’m perfectly fine finishing on my own or if we’re sexting, but I cant with him, even if theres foreplay beforehand. Sometimes I feel like I can’t focus on what’s happening because I’m too focused on the thought of finishing or something else but I don’t know how to avoid getting distracted. It’s starting to make me feel sexually frustrated because masturbating by myself just doesn’t feel as good anymore. Any advice?
3 comments
Try to bring it up with him
Sounds clique but focus on the journey not the end. If you spent the whole time focused on cumming, it’s just not gonna happen.
Us guys just need a strong breeze to cum. Women are just different.
It could be a lot of factors. I recommend trying to bring your attention to the present (rather than that inner voice that is ruining everything) by focusing on sensations (what physical sensations am I feeling? What smells do I smell? What do I hear? What do I taste? Etc). That may help bring your attention to the present. You can also focus on your breathing. Try to take a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, and breath out.
Another thing to consider trying is mutual masturbation. So, without touching each other, masturbate in proximity to him to see if you can orgasm with him in the room with you.
Based on how the above goes, I will have more suggestions.
>Sometimes I feel like I can’t focus on what’s happening because I’m too focused on the thought of finishing or something else but I don’t know how to avoid getting distracted.
There’s your problem. Mindfulness and breathing exercises help. Be mindful of when your mind is wandering and return your focus to your breathing and the pleasure you’re receiving in the moment. This takes a lot of repeated practice before it becomes second nature.