My wife likes kissing during sex but for me it kinda makes lose focus. I want to clarify that I mean kissing during the act, during PIV, during penetration.
The rest of the time I’m perfectly fine with kissing: foreplay, after sex and everything in between except during PIV itself. i prefer burying my head in her neck or hair or pressing our faces together, even statically locking our lips, but having a french kissing session in the middle of coitus totally throws me off and makes me lose focus. I find it hard to focus on both the kissing and the thrusting and it makes me feel uncoordinated and probably looks ridiculous.
She’s kind of the opposite and feels weird if we don’t kiss during PIV, it doesn’t make her feel as close to me.
How to find a balance?
**tl;dr:** wife wants to french kiss during penetration but it makes me feel weird and uncoordinated. How to find a balance?
23 comments
Ask her if she can kiss your neck/face/chest area while you’re PIV and do the same to her, so it’s not just having her awkwardly staring off into the distance while you bury your face into her neck or similar. Make sure you’re talking to her so there’s no awkward silences or anything (moan and shit, girls adore that) – maybe if you keep your mouth busy, she won’t want to make out during that time
I had the same problem. My partner wanted kissing and eye contact to feel close to me and I can’t have sex like that it throws me off.
I’m not saying it is true for you and your wife, But for me sex isn’t the emotionally charged act it was for my girlfriend. I realised what she wanted was emotion and intimacy from me. I compromised by having longer foreplay and doing lots of kissing etc etc or whatever she wanted. Or giving intimacy and affection to her that wasn’t necessarily leading to sex.
Maybe if she is on top you won’t have to worry about maintaining coordination??
I hope someone else has some better advice than me.
She’s probably trying to slow down your jackhammering. Kiss your wife during sex. You’ll get better at the movement.
So don’t thrust while you kiss. What is the problem here?
It’s like chewing bubblegum and walking… just takes practice
Uh, stop thrusting for a second while you kiss? You realize that once you put it in, you arent legaly required to pump at a steady pace untill you finish, right?
Maybe she wants you to lose focus Man shes telling u how to make it more pleasurable and ur focusing on yrself then later when she says the dck was weak Yr gonna be sad
So many condescending responses in this thread. I’m sorry you’re not getting more empathetic feedback.
I think my question for you would be, what are you losing focus on, and why is it a problem? Are you focusing on maintaining the right angle for her? For you? Do you have trouble finishing and need to focus on that? I think if you can go into further detail on what “focus” means to you in this context, you’ll get more useful advice.
To me it is the best thing to do both. Thrusting while kissing.
I had to google what PIV sec is, I haven’t had sex in a long time and now feel dumb
Sex isn’t only about your pleasure.
Kiss your wife some of the time during sex.
Damn bro, use the same rhythm with kissing as your hips
I am kinda the same way, I don’t necessarily need it but I do love making out while PIV. My partner gets this so he will slow down his thrusting and make out with me, then he’ll continue at whatever pace he was going.
The balance is that you kiss her during sex. Your entire post is about how YOU feel during sex (uncoordinated, look stupid, etc) and almost zero concern for what she likes beyond “how do I find a middle ground?”
The middle ground is you kiss your damn wife when you’re fucking. There’s nothing wrong with varying speeds while having sex. Find it hard to jackhammer her when you’re frenching? Then slow down. She probably only asks for you to kiss her because she noticed it would slow you down lol.
Jokes aside, no one knows what’s going on in the bedroom but you two. Assumption says you’re thrusting too hard and fast constantly, and most women like a variation. But if you’re truly looking for a balance? Kiss your wife dude. Adjust your thrust. Don’t hammer her until y’all are both near climax. Most importantly? Talk to her.
Do you have trouble walking and chewing gum too? Jesus man.
What do do I have mean by losing focus???
She could kiss you while she’s on top doing the heavy lifting. That way you don’t lose focus and she gets kissing
Practice makes perfect and I’ll tell you something blunt— if a woman is asking you for something to make sex better, sex is probably really bad. If you want your marriage to thrive, you gotta accept you need to work on it.
It can be hot in the moment. Just stop for a second and kiss her. We don’t personally kiss during, but if she’s asking for it, you should probably make it work.
Bet you are exciting in the bedroom… ever heard of stopping for a moment to kiss? You don’t have to go “ALL STEAM AHEAD CAPTAIN” the moment your in.. also a tip? Women like changes of pace.. stopping can be just as potent 🙂
For god sake mam she’s not a sex doll, for women it’s mental as well.
It’s okay to lose focus and be uncoordinated
If someone I’m supposed to be in a committed relationship with can only penetrate me while his head is shoved in my neck like an ostrich, it would make me feel very doll-like tbh. I don’t know what you mean by uncordinated, losing focus and appearing ridiculous, but the only person that should be caring about it apart from you is asking only one – simple – thing…