My 25M Girlfriend 24F had an emotional affair and im still unsure of what to do with our relationship

Hello reddit,

I sincerely apologize for complaining about this situation again on here, but this is my safe space to vent about this. I posted about a week ago my girlfriend of 4 years had an emotional affair with another guy for about 2 months. It’s still on my profile if anyone cares to read it all but to make a long story short, she had an emotional affair, tried to delete the evidence but i found it and confronted her and decided at that point in time to stay.

We had a talk about everything when it happened, good bad and ugly and came to what seemed like a compromise and she gave me an apology. Through the week i’ve felt up and down about this relationship and she’s done her best to provide reassurance and comfort when i needed it.

The problem is I’m emotionally checked out after all of this and want to leave, but i’m afraid to. I love her so much, she is someone who’s made me feel amazing and has changed me for the better. However this emotional affair has completely destroyed my trust in her, where i never doubted her before, now all i do is doubt her. My brain wants me to leave, but i’m petrified of doing it. My heart does not want to leave, as i keep thinking of it as a what if scenario, like it could get better if i stay and I just try and think of the person she was before this.

If anyone’s been through a similar experience with emotional infidelity and ended up staying, how did you stay? Or if you left, how did you leave? i’m not good with expressing my emotions verbally, but a text message breakup to me is inappropriate considering our time together.