I’m just not interesting, don’t know how to keep conversations, can’t make jokes, I am very quiet and I don’t speak much, while my friends are the opposite.
I do think that is very hard to change those things, so it’s easier for me to accept it, but how can I accept that I’m just boring?

40 comments

  3. Well, accepting to be a boring person would be a shame.

    However, it’s positive and liberating to accept to be *sometimes* boring, because your job in life isn’t to entertain everyone all the time.

    There’s multiple ways to be an interesting person, some accessible to introverts too. Don’t give up

  4. I’m the same. It seems that everywhere I go I’m always sitting on my own or doing my own thing and not even my family members come over to keep in touch ever since I moved out from my parents. Oh well

  6. Why does quiet have to equal boring?? It’s exhausting entertaining…screw that, it’s exhausting *thinking* you have to entertain everyone, much less do it. I am incredibly outgoing, loud, and all that, and some of the best times I’ve had were in the same settings, but not engaging. I enjoy observing. I’m getting joy out of watching all my friends love and care for each other.

    If someone else thinks I’m boring, that’s on them. I’m happy right now 🙂

  7. Be less boring? Read more, get active hobbies (not just the gym), learn about different cultures and religions, get a creative hobby. Being boring isn’t a permanent state of being, it’s a place

  8. Same to be honest have you heard of masking it basically means that you try to copy people interest even though you don’t like them just to fit and I’m sure this is relevant but I’ve done that and it makes me feel like shit and it makes me feel boring too so I get what you’re feeling It fucking sucks.

  9. In your case, you don’t.

    If you have “boring” hobbies, accept your hobbies for giving you joy.

    The way you talk about being boring signals dissatisfaction with your life. I get the sense that your social needs aren’t being met. It sounds like you’re not having fun, but you want to, but you’ve kind of given up on that prospect. It looks like you’ve made this post to encourage your defeatism.

    I’m here to tell you that you can definitely change! It will be a worthwhile endeavor to work on the things you mentioned. You can definitely expand your interests, improve your communication skills, and develop your sense of humor.

  11. You don’t have to accept it but you can use it as motivation to make your life more interesting

  13. Why not just go and experience more, build some character? It might be more difficult, but just accepting it definitely sounds a whole lot more boring

  14. No one is boring. Humans are complex beyond comprehension, so beautifully intricate, so *different*. We all have personalities, passions, things that make us smile, things that make us cry – you’d be boring if you were the exact same as others, but this can’t be said of anyone. You’re not boring, you just need to work on your social skills.

  15. I was wondering this today, I think no one’s actually boring, and all they need is more confidence. I figured out that nervousness was the reason for me being boring to be honest.

    It’s like a cycle: I think I’m boring, get nervous that I might seem boring, and become more boring.

  16. You might be looking at it the wrong way. Focus on your strengths, I’m sure you have qualities that your friends value apart from being the joker or outgoing. Work on the communication little by little and don’t be too hard on yourself.

  17. Get interested and active in cool hobbys. Being boring and not having social skills are two different things.

  18. You change those things with courage. A more useful question would be… HOW CAN I GAIN THE COURAGE TO FACE MY FEARS AND SPEAK UP AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. To that I say reading self help books is a start. Then practise those ideas that are presented.

  19. for you to make this post it shows it bothers you. It bothers me too. i noticed that if your not exposed to certain things you won’t be able to choose from it. Take a huge risk do something different.

    i’m about to go on a date by myself to a nice restaurant and just people watch, i’m not anti social or anything but i need a day to myself, i hope u find a new experience that u can partake in even if it ends up being kinda weird.

  20. Go out there and get yourself into some drama. You will have plenty to talk about for sure

  21. Start calling yourself “Calm and serenity” rather than boring.

    Start thinking like, people have chaotic lives, yours is like a good break, and a Rest Point, or a save point in games.

    Safe, nothing much going on. Chill – call – peaceful.

  24. So you’ve got friends, which means you are of interest to them. Which tells me you are only boring in your mind. People don’t hangout with people of no interest to them.

  25. Reframe to: You’re a calm person who gives others space to talk.

    Or just keep practicing and work on your social skills. People aren’t sorted into “boring” vs “interesting”. Instead people have moments they shine while they may be dull as paste another time. Reject black and white thinking.

  26. At a Toastmaster’s event, this guy admitted that his interests were sleeping and watching TV. Everybody started laughing because he was authentic. He was a refreshing breath of fresh aid because he wasn’t trying to impress anybody. Own it.

    I’m quiet. A lot of people don’t like me. I get angry in front of other people. I push people away. I am fascinated at the dark arts of Internet flaming. And I own it.

  27. Literally watch anime. All the cool guys in anime are exactly the same.

    Really, though, every character type is cool in there own ways. Some people might not be into it, but some might find you cool and mysterious. Some people like to talk a lot and not be interrupted, and some people like to have a shy wingman. There’s a spot for everyone in this world, no matter what your personality is, as long as you give yourself the opportunity you will meet lots of friends.

  28. You don’t seem boring to me. You articulated yourself quite well in your post and many people read it and found it so interesting that they posted comments about it.

    Maybe you’re judging yourself too harshly…

  29. I personally think boring is an unfair critique. Talking a lot doesn’t inherently make a person interesting, it just makes them noisy. A quiet person can have as rich a personality as a loud one, they just tell people on their own time, in their own way.

    I’m a loud person who loves quiet people, because learning about them feels like a precious achievement. Sort of like when a cat chooses you after long consideration. It feels very special.

    It’s okay to be quiet, to be more serious or more considerate. Loud clowns like me have our place, but the world doesn’t need just clowns. It needs quiet people. It needs serious people and stoics. Those types of people are important, and to be honest they’re sometimes the folks we respect the most.

    In fact, if you’re trying to love yourself as you are, think about all the quiet people you know who you respect. Look at history for an endless supply of very serious, quiet people who changed the world.

  31. Op your problem is not that you are “boring”. Your real problem is your lack of confidence and self-esteem. You let yourself by defined by an adopted definition of “boring” from the outside world. You decide if you are interesting or not. You are the one who should dictate your self-esteem, not what you think the world thinks (which you don’t know anyway).

  32. You have interests.
    Join a group or two with similar interests.
    You’ll feel comfortable talking with THAT group.

    Because you’re not boring.

  33. Keeping conversations is mostly just talking about what you’ve been up to in your free time. Are you depressed? Being depressed can make it hard to do anything, which then makes it harder to have something to talk about that isn’t negative to others. If you’re not depressed, what do you do in your free time? E.g. video games, TV, hiking, something new you’re trying (Remember when everyone wouldn’t shut up about sourdough bread in 2020? Like that, try something new.), or talk about what you learned on Reddit.

    Half of socializing is hearing what other people are up to. Plan a topic or three to talk about ahead of time, and then be happy if it doesn’t go that way and you end up hearing someone else out about the things they’ve been up to. But if they don’t have anything to talk about you can bring up your topics. Show and tell in kindergarten is the basis of socializing.

    I often have to bring up topics, but I particularly love it when people bring up activities they’ve been up to. It gives me food for thought for more things for me to do in life. I was once depressed and one of the keys that got me out of it was listening to what other people were up to and letting it inspire me to try to do more activities in life.

  34. Instead of accepting it, why don’t you let that disappointment or whatever feeling surrounds it be the fuel to change? Read a book on social skills, then go practice them. Lose the fear that prevents you from taking chances at being embarrassed- and try. Even the most practiced get embarrassed and mess up- but it’s the fun of trying. It’ll turn into a laugh; when people laugh at you, either enjoy the moment of absurdity that everyone else is- much more enjoyable- or, if it was truly an err of approach, learn not to do that thing. Become cognitively aware of what you’re doing and how it might affect other people- outside of the whole “you offended me” garbage. Sometimes, don’t open up a pickup line/ conversation with the heaviest tragedy of all time. We’ve all learned that lesson, for example, and your buddies will absolutely make fun of you for doing said dumb thing. Stings at first, but then you look back and laugh because you realize:

    1). With what can someone even respond to that with? Kinda kills everything. Aside from they don’t know you, nor care about your troubles.

    2). I could just value myself more, and realize that instead of trying to coax someone into a moment of intimacy with me, the right one(s) will actually just appreciate me for me, or our mutual desire.

    A dumb example, but there you go. Read a popular book, watch a popular show, learn the art of entertainment and how to tell a joke- usually this involves making yourself aware to how other people feel, what they’re interested in, or how they think and what they think about. Something those MeToo’s should be all about, but here we are. Dark thoughts are meant as a necessity for therapy, not connecting with an individual.

    In high school I said very little. To anybody. Even avoided being called on in class for the most part- but what I said was usually a joke at something, so everyone liked me (or, didn’t mind me presence- either way, I attained my goal of not having to ‘put myself out there.’ You don’t have to become the life of the party, just garner that social attention we all need and want. Quit being lazy and passive, and do something to change it. “You are who you are” pertains to TODAY. Not yesterday, not tomorrow- that is a changing aspect, if you want to grow up and mature in any way possible. Geezus. Not everybody sucks, and if you do, nobody has to stay that way. See or know something you don’t like? Change it. You’re in control of yourself, so take command. You can laugh and love or you can wallow- you’re gonna have to live your life either way, so might as well make it fun or interesting to your take. And yes, it’s hard. It takes effort to stay in shape, or keep with the times, or whatever- but nobody credible said it was going to be easy, nor that it should be.

  35. I think everyone has a little bit of boring. I feel just the way you do a lot. My current friends are actually my husbands/ met through my husband. And whenever we all have dinner and talk, i just mostly listen to them all. This makes me a little sad, but hearing all the stories and explanations , being out of the house- it makes me happy.

    Im a mom and also trying to make a webcomic so not much going on in my life either. But im sure everyone else in the world feels the same? What can anyone really do or say to make themselves more interesting? Not much i say. Every meeting is like an interview, they probably say the same things about themselves over and over.

    In summary, every one is boring, and i feel like some us, like me and op, tend to over think things that aren’t actually a big deal.

    PS
    I’ve only had one person in my entire life tell me i was boring, but he is my ex and people like that dont belong in your life anyway. I copied him a lot and learned a lot from him, so if he thought i was boring then, I realize now he basically thought he himself was boring.

  36. Everyone is boring to someone who simply is not interested. You aren’t boring, I don’t know if your friends just appreciate that they don’t have to fight for airtime over you too, or if they simply don’t realise or care that you aren’t talking much with them. But they should care, and they should notice, that’s what friends do.

    I’m an introverted, anxious, disabled, neurodivergent 30-something chick. I get what you mean about it being easier to accept it than change it. If you truly are just a person of few words who requires less social interaction to be fulfilled, that’s absolutely fine don’t let the world tell you what and how you ought to be or what you should need. I see people at most once a week, have never been more mentally stable and am quite content with my little life.

    But you’re posting here, which suggests it is bothering you? If it genuinely is bothering you, and not that you think it bothers others and you should change yourself to meet expectations, there are things you can do to help.

    I don’t wanna like jump into all the long winding ways I implement strategies to help me socialise if that isn’t what you are looking for or need; but if it is, I do have some ideas for you.

    Regardless, you are perfect at being you. You’re the only one there is and that is magical 🩷

  38. I think you should be kinder to yourself and love yourself more.

    The way I see it you probably wouldn’t say something that unkind to someone else right… so why are you doing that to yourself.

    If you can see yourself worthy of love and attention it will start to change slowly. The vibes you give out are literally energy signals you are sharing. Saying your boring won’t help. Try the opposite for a change and live a little.

  39. I don’t think there is an actual ‘boring’ person. unless you don’t understand social norms and are too self-centered I believe everyone has a unique personality and thoughts to share to the world. it’s just the crippling anxiety man…. it stops us from truly be ourselves.

  40. I relate to this so much but also the people you ha f out with are a reflection of who you are so I don’t think they would hang out with you if you are truly a boring person. Just because you are quiet does not make you boring, clearly people love you for who you are and you should too! it would be boring if you were anyone else 🙂 i wouldn’t consider myself someone who can makes jokes, or funny and i don’t speak much but i am kind, i am a good listener, i am caring. i used to think being funny was the most important thing to do or else people won’t like me but it’s not true, just be kind to others and find the qualities you do admire in yourself rather than the ones you wish you had. i believe in you

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