My boyfriend won’t give me head

48 comments

1. Sounds like he’s just using you. If he admits he doesn’t like it, then the next step is you renegotiate or ask for something else. Then he has to either do something for you or admit he doesn’t care about doing that. If he just makes excuses then he gets to keep having what he wants and you get stuck with the status quo.

2. It hurts his stomach if you’re laying down? Not only is he making excuses, he’s making poor ones.

3. Kick his lazy, inconsiderate ass to the curb. He does not deserve you. There are great guys out there who would be thrilled to give you head and who will never let you feel self-conscious about your body or that you’re somehow not deserving of the same pleasure or effort.

4. Well I don’t see why laying on his stomach would hurt, but if that’s the excuse he’s going with then just sit on his face. No blowjob for him, just you getting head in a position that he himself says is comfortable for him.

5. Girl when we date, we are finding out if we want to KEEP dating. Thats what dating is. It’s the trial period. It’s the taste test. It’s going to the dressing room and seeing if the outfit fits.

   And when it’s not what you are looking for, you put it back on the shelf and keep shopping.

6. Sounds like a selfish lover. That’s a red flag for me.

7. Didn’t read. just break up

8. I think it would be better (if riskier) to just come out with the real reason, that he doesn’t like doing this. His lack of honesty here would bother me more than him not doing this, frankly. Peeps are entitled to not like certain sexual things and not feel forced into doing them, but they shouldn’t need to lie about it.

9. Girl you’re being used. Like a fleshlight

10. Op this man is not exactly a value add to your sex life. Do you want to continue suffering?

11. Why do people stay in relationships when they aren’t happy and have made attempts to fix things and the other person doesn’t try?

12. Break up. The guy doesn’t like to give head.

13. He’s either selfish, or he has no idea what to do. It’s a learned and taught skill. And different women want it different ways. And he could just be selfish.

14. If you are frustrated now, just imagine how it’s going to be in a few years with this person.

15. I had a partner who didn’t like performing oral, so I stopped too and it wasn’t an issue.

    Is the issue that he won’t give you oral, or that you’re giving it to him. If it’s the former, you’re not compatible. If it’s the latter, you can talk about how you’re not into it so you don’t want to do it.

16. 5 months? Move around sister, he’s not for you.

17. If you’re unfulfilled and frustrated, move on.

18. He would make the effort if he wanted to. Does he do ANYTHING for you that you like? Or is it always about him?

19. Dump him, or teach him what you need. Life is too short to not get what you’re looking for.

20. If he can’t kneel on the floor with you at the edge of the bed, then he is using you, have padding for his knees so he can’t complain about that too.I got to a point in life where I couldn’t lay on my stomach and give head to my wife but it was from neck pain

21. I didn’t know if it was anatomically possible to give a woman head.

22. Time to move over and let someone else give it a try.

23. Weird. I love giving oral. Some guys just don’t i guess

24. You know, you can just move to the edge of a bed and he can do it on his knees..
    He’s making excuses and if he isn’t even trying to make you feel good or fulfill your needs, he should be an ex. You’re only 5 months in and he doesn’t touch you or fuck you. You have to do all the work with nothing in return… don’t settle for that. He’s selfish and I guarantee it’s not just in the bedroom.

25. He sound like a pillow princess. Many people don’t find it fair but you can’t demand certain kind of sex. If he is not into doing anything then he is not.

    That stomach hurting thing sounds weird. Maybe he should see a doctor. Or not to lay on his stomach at least then.

26. Try looking at it this way. You obviously like oral. Giving and receiving. You wash up clear yourself of stubble and probably look fantastic naked. Then go out into the world seeking oral pleasure. Only to find yourself sucking some guy that won’t return the favor. I’d be willing to bet that he has an oder and it rather fuzzy you ain’t digging it. I have left money for good head. Run from this clown 🤡

27. Leave him

28. Stop giving head. Immediately. Stop. Honestly you will lose attraction to a guy that doesnt care about your pleasure anyways. And he gave the stupidest fucken excuses too. Hilarious. Ew.

29. girl I’m in this same position as you. My bf has maybe eaten me out once for a few seconds and it feels like when we 69 it’s about his pleasure , not mine.

30. the only REAL reason i, myself as a man wouldn’t like to engage in oral sex would be poor hygiene. and i think i can speak for most of us.

31. might as well get paid

32. if you don’t want to leave him, then as a test to see what the problem really is, indulge 69 and give positive vocal reinforcement- even if it isn’t great.

    maybe he’s just been too scared to try and be bad at something that you’ve expressed means a lot to you. no one wants to look stupid in bed so ya. so i say do this just once.

    it’s a turn on to see someone being turned on by what you’re doing and that might not be something he’s aware of yet. he might be intimidated and doesn’t realize he can learn as he goes, and its not the end of the world to not come out the womb knowing how to eat pussy.

    he might like 69 cause he can tentatively try it out, but the spotlight isn’t all on him and he can pretend what you think is him not trying is really that he doesn’t know how to give head, which he can play off by claiming he’s so distracted by your good bj and hopes you’re too distracted giving bj that you don’t have his tongue lashings under a microscope. and if he’s doing good, he’ll know cause you’ll be too distracted by what he’s doing to focus on bj. a way of collecting data without the uncomfortable conversation. no one wants to say they don’t know how to give head fr

    if this is what the problem is- then once sees how hot it is to be able to rile someone you’re into up into a frenzy, it might boost his confidence to try more, push past his insecurities, and see that it’s not so bad to have to figure it out as you go and it’s okay to be vulnerable. and it’s actually really hot for him too. put him on game via social engineering and let him save face. since you love him so much and all.

    if this doesn’t work, flee the scene.

33. Sounds like he just doesn’t like doing it, and that’s his right. Imagine the roles were reversed and it was a woman who didn’t want to give BJs. Do you think it would be ok to say “you have to give them because he wants them and it doesn’t matter how you feel”? Everyone has a right to set a boundary for something they don’t want to do. And it sounds like he doesn’t want to do it. So it’s a sexual incompatibility here if it’s something you want in your life. And I totally get that because I also have oral sex as a deal breaker, and I don’t want someone who isn’t crazy about it but will do it because I like it. That just makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable with him doing it. No, I want someone who loves it and gets totally turned on by it. I know this is something I want as a regular part of my sex life, so it’s something I discuss early on and if they don’t like it, I move on. You should consider that too and probably accept you’re sexually incompatible and move on.

34. Wow I’m the opposite, I really wanna give my gf head but she doesn’t feel comfortable with it. It’s tough because it’s hard to make her cum with just fingering alone and I feel like I could really blow her mind if I ate her out. But yeah that’s not really cool behavior from your bf. You should point out that you give him head consistently and ask why he doesn’t think he should return the favor

35. I’m sorry, OP, but your bf isn’t into you. Like you said, he’s just using you for his pleasure if he doesn’t even touch you during sex. A man who is attracted to you and into you won’t be able to keep his hands off of you, and you’ll get eaten out. You won’t even have to ask for it. Maybe it’s time you re-evaluate your relationship.

36. Let’s be honest,in sexual relationships you really want to keep your partner satisfied and things like oral sex is very important for a happy and healthy one. Same way you go down on him, knowing he probably likes it you do it for him,he should do the same because penetrative sex can only do so much, especially for women.

    To be fully honest,my first time eating out I gagged a little,it was none of her fault it was genuinely just me not knowing what to expect but once I got used to it I’m loving it and it stays the most common form of enjoying each other, because I know I am able to satisfy her that way the best. If your partner is not willing to do “sacrifices” and learn your body he is not worth it in my opinion.

37. I put up with this for multiple years, it’s not going to get any better hun. If he already doesn’t care about reciprocating in ways that would make you feel more fulfilled in the relationship, it’s not going to change if you just give it more time.

    Don’t stay like I did and have a shitty sex life for 3+ years, go find a man who likes going down on you too 🤷

38. Just because he doesn’t like giving head doesn’t mean he’s using you, just to get that out of the way right now.

    Some people just don’t like giving oral, and it’s gonna have to be your call whether or not you want to live like that. It’s entirely possible, and honestly likely, that he’s making excuses because he, for whatever reason, doesn’t like going down on women.

39. I am continually amazed at how common this sentiment is – like this isn’t some TINY segment of the male population. Who the hell are the knuckleheads who expect to receive oral without giving it?

    The only thing I can say here is that if your boyfriend thinks pussy is so gross, he has some thinking to do about sexuality in general. There’s no harm in that – but he shouldn’t be doing that at the expense of your pleasure. What’s much more likely, however, is your boyfriend believing that he’s *entitled* to oral sex and that giving it is a submissive gesture that is beneath him. I don’t know how this kind of toxic masculinity is still out there lingering, but I think you have a few choices:

    1. Confront him on the issue and be clear that this is a thing you expect from a sexual partner. Make it hard for him to weasel out of this with excuses, he needs to tell you what he really means. He probably doesn’t even know himself.

    2. Tell him that you won’t give him oral unless he can reciprocate. (I really don’t like this option, sex as a weapon never ends well.).

    3. Stay and accept that you’re just not gonna be having a lot of orgasms in this relationship. (if it is not clear you should *expect* to cum every single time you have sex.)

    4. Leave this dude and figure out how to filter this out earlier in dating.

    Anyways, I am off to print this post out and hang it on the fridge next to the other 20 like it today, just to remind my partner how “blessed” she is LMAO.

40. This won’t get better sweetheart, find another boyfriend. U deserve better

41. Let go of these useless boyfriends. Issa boyfriend, theyre replaceable. Especially when they’re not cooperating. He would hardly hesitate to find your replacement if you refused to give him head. So why should you accord him grace he does not deserve?

42. Some men just don’t like giving head. You giving him head has literally nothing to do with whether he’s obligated to give you head or not. If it’s a requirement for you, and he’s not willing to do it, then you have your answer.

43. Find yourself one who will

44. I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with someone who isn’t willing to try to be a better lover. You’re not sexually compatible with him, and it’s not always easy to recognize this.

    The good part about this is you’re not married. It’s a lot easier to break up and move on.

45. r/randomactsofmuffdive

46. Get him a chair and the edge of the bed!! I have a foot stool and my wife loves what I do LoL

47. So stop giving him head as well. Stand firm on this, if he wants head, he gives it too

48. Time for new boyfriend. This one doesn’t care.