How to ignore someone
Hi
There’s been a weird cleaner at a train station I go to, unfortunately this time I couldn’t get the earlier train. It’s a small station so you see people and every time I go there he speaks to me. I’m in my twenties and he’s late 50s.
A few weeks after I was basically fired so I went there just to talk to him, although I should’ve just went home. He asked if I wanted to talk in his work van because it was windy, I didn’t think and went. We talked, but he’s really weird. He kept calling me fat despite himself being fat, touched my knee and my hair, asked if I think he’s att rac tive, if I know how babies are made. Have I always been chubby, I said no then he said since when, since you were two? Told me not to buy too many doughnuts when I eventually left to go to the shop. Previously he asked me whether my name was Wang and not an English name I had. Keeps talking about race. All of this has led me to take earlier trains than needed because he’s only there around noon.
Today I woke up late and got the timings wrong, so can only take the train at noon. He will be there. How do I not talk to him? Should I just rush to the train at the last second and risk that.
Many thanks
14 comments
Don’t ever get into strangers vans again. Wear headphones, it’s easy to ignore people if you can’t hear them.
“I don’t want to talk”
You could always trying being mean. Make it clear that you don’t want it to bother you and if it comes off rude, we’ll than hopefully that will drive the point home. Is there not any other way you can avoid him?? Also he’s a fucking pig commenting on your body like that
Uber to the next station if possible for a little while. This person doesn’t sound safe to be around.
Honestly you fucked up by going further with him. He will either be a stalker now and there’s different degrees. You could cold shoulder him, seems he thinks he has a chance with you now. Either way, you will have to tell him up front you don’t feel like talking today.
Just be really real and tell him that he made you uncomfortable when he told you those rude things.
Or just wear sunglasses and pretend you don’t see him. When he says hello just don’t say anything. Don’t interact with him any more, just pretend he does not exist. Don’t smile at him.
First off, I hope you’re okay.
Secondly, I’m not sure why you’re taking the train when you have no job but do not go. Instead go buy pepper spray right now. Or a whistle. Keep it on your keys.
I’m not trying to freak you out but you should be very afraid of him. He’s friendly because he’s attracted to you. And he’s a creep for talking to you the way he did.
Tell some kind of adult what happened and where this guy works/lives/his name and anything you can think of.
For the love of God please stop going alone to places with a man you do not know. I know you’re young but being in your 20s is not that young. If you somehow don’t have a creep meter than at least trust this random internet stranger’s intuition. Avoid him! Thats not a normal conversation and a very worrying one with tons of red flags.
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This isn’t social skills, you need remedial, “Not Dealing with Potential Psychopaths 101.”
You can’t afford to be switched off. Err on the side of caution
You don’t owe this guy any form of interaction. So don’t interact with him.
“Leave me alone,” is a full sentence.
People saying it’s your fault for him being weird to you is so rude. You went with him in the van and were being too nice to him, but if you knew this would happen, you surely would’ve never done that. That being said … I also think he’s attracted to you or wants to get a reaction from you. It’s the best to be direct and tell him you feel uncomfortable when talking to him. It’s maybe difficult to say but this will lead to the quickest favourable result.
Good luck!
Pretend to be on the phone with someone. And holy shit this dude’s creep factor is 1000000.
Do NOT make eye contact & keep walking / doing wat you were doing.
Discreetly take a picture of him and share it with station managers and security/police. not to make a report since it sounds like he hasn’t broken a law, but ask them if they’ve had “issues” with him before and tell them he acts in a way that makes you feel unsafe. And honestly it might help to share it on social media in the area. I am confident that you’re not the only girl he’s acting predatory towards
What he’s doing is *not* at all okay and my therapist intuition is saying he is boundary testing (seeing what he can get away with) so he can eventually assault someone.
Staying away from him is good practice but for times when you might see him you’ve gotta be more assertive. Tell him you’re not talking to him. Cause people that behave this way count on their victims ability to be persuaded and non-assertive.
Good luck.
Wear headphones, wear sunglasses, wear a different hat, stay buried in your phone.
If he approaches you, just say DUDE! and look at him horrified, and walk away.
Run and scream if you have to.
He’s a creep. It might even make sense to report him.