i cant describe the feeling i get when somebody unfollows me. its lame but it hurts my ego. does it bother anybody else? and what is the emotion you associate with it?

47 comments

  1. When I was younger, yes it hurt my feelings and made me wonder, but not much. I eventually realized that I like to unfollow people too, for any number of reasons. I realized it isn’t a personal attack, but rather just somebody feeling like they only want to follow people they know irl. It is a 0.4% chance that they actually dislike ME. Even if they don’t like what I am posting, I know that doesn’t mean they don’t like me. It is nowhere near the same as being cut off, in person. So while it made me sad and literally took time out of my day as I thought through why they might have done this, I learned that it doesn’t matter because I’ll never know why.

  2. It does bother me. Only if its someone i know personally, like a friend or sibling. For alot of reasons. It seems deliberate, like i did something wrong. Especially if they have over a thousand followers, that means they siphoned me out of a thousand people, and like squid games, eliminated me. And it rakes time and effort, no much, but its easier to leave someone then to unfollow them. And i dont post, i dont comment or reply, so im practically a ghost.

  4. I mean yeah if its someone i want to be friend with and then they unfollow,, ofcourse it hurts, depresses, angers, saddens, dissapoints..

    Feels physically like falling down when i notice (anyone else?)

    I have one person i met 5 years ago and have not been contact for 4 years and im scared they unfollow me and give up the friendship…

    I just have not been able to send message some how although i want to 🙁 dont know what to say especially after this long time

  6. Was clearing out my following/follower list a couple months ago and found out one of my only true friends i had throughout middle school and high school unfollowed me. That hurt like a bitch ngl lol. Definitely brought up feelings of betrayal, confusion, and sadness. To be fair, we hadn’t talked in months but idk we’ve done that before so i assumed it wasn’t a dealbreaker. Oh well though. Friends come and go and i love that you can literally make friends anywhere you traverse. :3

  7. Every time a friend or relative unfollows/unfriends me, it bothers me. My cousin recently did it. We were messaging regularly for 15 years. I was late to send her child a graduation gift. I was also considering not doing it at all because she rarely says thank you, her or the child. Then she just unfriended me and wouldn’t respond to my texts. It hurts because I’ve known her so long, and I consider her to be part of me. Like, we have so many memories together, and I learned from her habits that I still have. And now she’s just gone. I shouldn’t be surprised because she doesn’t talk to her mom anymore either and has done this to all her relatives. I was the last one. To make myself feel better, I tell myself that my mom considers her low class and stopped talking to her 10 years ago because of how inconsiderate she is. Honestly, that does make me feel better.

    Some other people who just ignore me or unfollowed consider me irrelevant because I don’t live near them or didn’t do what they wanted me to do. When I think about them, I remind myself that they never valued me. I can’t help that.

  9. It used to. I used to react badly to rejection in general. I used to be very rejection-sensitive and had some abandonment wounds that would easily get flared up, especially if the person pulled away. I sought approval and validation from others. So I would stew and ruminate over someone unfriending me on social media.

    I think with a combination of age and working on myself, all of this has gotten better. Also, unfortunately I’ve ended up on the other side of this, where I had to reject some people. I began seeing things from a different point of view.

  10. Yeah it does bother me actually, I think why? What did I do wrong?! I don’t even post! Then I that sort of answers my question…I don’t post and I don’t use social media to stay in touch with anyone, so there is no real need to follow me.

  12. My grandmother unfriended me, that stung a little but other than that i don’t really care.

  13. Fuck yeah that definitely hurts for a second. It has me contemplating everything I could’ve done said posted that may have wanted to encourage this person to Unfollow me

  14. At least you acknowledge it’s your ego. That amazing. I’m slowly letting my ego die out. The emotion attached with it makes me feel unworthy and like shit about myself. It’s like it needs a lot of validation

  15. If it’s people I know personally that I thought we had a friendship of some kind. I think it upsets me because it makes me realize other people play a bigger part in my life than what I play in theirs.

  17. Not anymore, I just unfollow them back. If I went to school with you for 10 years and we were never really friends I ain’t gonna be hurt if you unfollow me because we don’t fuckin know each other really.

  19. Never let social media fuck with your ego/mental state. Bc end of the day it is still a silly app where people care about their followers and their likes.

    I can understand some of you may find it unlikely or being bothered about it.

    Here is a little tip- JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK

  20. Yes. Idc if we met in the women’s bathroom in Dublin in 2014, you better keep following me!!

  21. Hurts my feelings a bit, but in recent years it gets replaced by a bit of curiosity. I’m pretty open on social media posting about my life and interests. I’ll also post jokes/memes- my sense of humour is a bit dirty.

    So when I get unfriended, I always wonder what was the post/story that did it. Unfortunately, I rarely notice in real time when someone’s gone. Usually comes about, at least on FB, through the “memories” function- I’ll see the name of someone and go “huh, haven’t heard from them in a while”. Click on the profile and we’re not friends anymore. Damn.

  23. It depends if I know them well or not. If it was somebody I knew years ago then I wouldn’t care but if it was somebody I talk to regularly then yeah I would feel anxious and think about it for several days lol

  24. It astounds me how many people take this so seriously, I’m 19 btw, like where’s all the social media is all games and facades, none should be taken to heart.

  25. Only if it’s someone I know personally. It makes me feel rejected. If it’s a stranger, I honestly don’t care.

  26. Once I realize that I don’t even know who it was that unfollowed me because they weren’t significant enough for me to remember, then I let it go

  31. Not any more. I get more annoyed/hurt when a fake version of a person I’m already facebook friends with tries to add me as a friend so they can spam me

  33. I remember once three people, all friends with each other, unfollowed me on FB. I remember realising and laughing. One was telling people how he’s not going to talk to me at a mutual persons bday party, except as soon as he saw me he nodded, and then kept speaking to me when I tried to speak to the bday girl (he was just in proximity). The other years later I started talking to my friends, and kept getting anxious, saying I hate him everytime I just… Didn’t say anything to him. Like you started the beef ignoring me and now I’m just respecting it.

    Honestly sometimes it all talk.

  36. It does once in a while like I can’t care less if someone random does but when someone you met in the past week or two just unfollows you randomly it’s like why tho . I respect it but why tho 😂. Shit low-key hurts my ego it’s like am I not enough am I not entertaining am I not likeable shit makes me question my life frfr. But then I get acceptance clarity and it’s all good like what happened happened kinda vibe

  37. You know it’s important to acknowledge these feelings because they exist no matter how lame or stupid. It’s a very fucked up game that these platforms are playing where they know we care a lot more than we wish we did about getting likes, upvotes, follows etc.

    We can’t help but be social creatures and like the little social credit score of how many likes or followers we get. I’m a youtuber that’s been on since 2006 and realistically it’s devestating to see those dislikes and unfollows. I get it… it’s so fucking stupid but when you have low self esteem it feels like yet another reason for your self hate to shit all over yourself…

  38. Meee toooo.. dont feel bad
    I honestly went ghost on social media because i feel like my emotional discipline needs worked on..
    I get sad over reels i see.. i feel some kind of way if someone is mean to me.. or unfollows me
    I feel like a big baby lol

    Maybe we are just too sweet.. its ok though❤️

  39. I did a few years ago but now I’m older and I realise I genuinely don’t give a fuck. Fuck em if they don’t like ya

  41. Nah, I just realized it’s probably nothing personal and they probably have stuff going on that they don’t want to talk about.

  43. I actually never know. How would I know they unfollowed me? 🤣🤣🤣
    Y’all are some weirdos hurting your own feelings.

  45. There are more important things to focus on in life, your ego is just that your ego! Find more meaningful activities to engage in with friends and family, let go of social media it’s not important. Life is short be present in the moment and live your life in reality, I promise you’ll be happier for it.

  46. Yeah it is an ego blow. But people who unfollow you don’t like you or never liked you so then it’s not a loss.

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