I met this guy a while ago and he seemed pretty cool so I ended up messaging him one day asking if he wanted to hang out. Since I’m not looking for a relationship and didn’t want to give him the wrong idea I asked if I could bring my best friend. I’m 20 and she’s 18. The guy is in his early/mid 20s and said he wouldn’t feel comfortable around her so we eventually just decided to hang out one on one. I am used to this so I didn’t have an issue with it but was still kind of worried he would get the wrong idea. We hung out and saw each other a few more times at the bar and got along very well. There were no signs that he felt uncomfortable around me or anything like that so I was very surprised when he ended up telling me that he didn’t want to continue hanging out with me. The whole message just felt like he was trying to reject me as a romantic partner but didn’t know how to do it in a nice way. I decided to wish him well but was so confused and freaked out that I ended up texting him again. I felt like what he said confirmed my initial fear of him getting the wrong idea and thinking that I’m into him. So I asked if he thought I was into him and assured him he had nothing to worry about. No response. I feel like what I said just made things worse and came off as insincere and like it was just an attempt to make him stay when that’s not the message I was trying to send at all. I think I fucked up and probably seem like a creep who can’t take no for an answer but don’t know if I’m worrying too much.

2 comments
  1. You only followed up once, and it doesn’t sound like your message said anything like, “Please reconsider! I only like you platonically; don’t leave me!”

    If you let it go now, I doubt he is sweating the second message. You didn’t do anything egregious or weird. You tried to clear up a potential misunderstanding, and he didn’t respond. It’s all good and normal, if a little awkward (as a situation).

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