Tbh I’m confused and I feel like this is something he needs to work on but I need an opinion from an outsiders perspective.
I (22F) have been with (20M) boyfriend for a year now. We never really were sexual but we did do it on occasion. We were so intense together at the beginning, loving, all the sappy talk, major honeymoon phase. He was always kinda weird about sex though, we still did it, but it was always kind of an awkward topic.
We’ve had some issues recently due to my mental health (paranoia) and him being emotionally distant. Today we had a proper chat about things to try and make things right, and for the first time he brought up the fact he didn’t feel sexual in our relationship. He said he loves me romantically, and thinks I’m attractive, but just doesn’t feel sexually.
Obviously I got upset, asked him if it’s me, etc… and he says he doesn’t really know why. He just lacks that feeling. He says he feels romantically towards us and thinks we have a good relationship, but just lacks that aspect.
Sex isn’t super important to me but knowing this information has scared me. It makes me feel unattractive and freaked out and the fact he can’t answer my questions just weirds me out.
What do I do?
Tl;dr boyfriend says he finds me attractive and loves me romantically but doesn’t feel sexually towards me.
3 comments
Has he had sex with other women before you?
You two need to have a conversation about what kind of relationship you each want, and whether you each can be that person for the other.
Um.. idk has he ever done any therapy? Even if you have had some mental health challenges, it doesn’t seem particularly relevant here.
If he’s not committed to good sex and you said he was always ‘weird’ about it, you don’t need to feel bad about wanting to date someone who does want to have sex with you.
You can always stay friends or w/e