I have had sex twice where it really did feel great, like almost too great, but every other time, (probably at least 50 times in my life) I did not feel any stimulation, had to either force an orgasm or masturbate to finish, and it felt like I was just getting a workout. What I read is that it is probably because i “death grip.”
I rarely ever want to try to have sex, I feel like it is inappropriate to try to have sex with strangers and I do not have any female friends or even know any females (except long distance friends). I also have no idea how to communicate with signals and all, so every time I did have sex I was legit just like “do you want to have sex” and a friend of mine told me recently “that is not how you do that.” He said that we are supposed to communicate consent through body language, and well, I had women literally thank me for asking instead of advancing on them without asking, so I do think that is the right thing to do, and a lot of people seem to disagree? Isnt verbal consent important?
But, I am caught between not wanting sex, and wanting sex, not having any females I can actually meet that arent complete strangers at bars, but I definitely would want to engage in sexual activity without intercourse, but I have no clue how to communicate this, nor do I know how I could meet women I am attracted to.
I kinda tried to convince myself the past few days that I do not want it at all, that it is not worth, and imagined I would turn people down even if I did want to have sex with them. It does not make sense.
3 comments
I’m a female, I find a lot of us appreciate knowing that a guy doesn’t want to see you just for sex! I’ve found when guys have said this to me I feel so much more comfortable around them knowing I’m not being used as “meat”. I agree coming right out and asking for sex is weird but that’s just my thoughts, always try get to know her! Remember females are much more emotional then males, we are giving our body over to you so just clear communication is always good
You are not wrong for asking outright ‘do you want sex?’. Your friend actually 100% correct either, body language is a good indicator and maybe a start to opening a conversation but NOTHING is as good as an enthusiastic ‘Yes!’ and ongoing checking in etc. relying on body language can lead to, lets say, misunderstandings, but it is part of the ‘dance’. What we are ‘supposed’ to do is largely dictated by society and not individuals, some people will need a gentler approach, you may come across as aggressive. Try some lighter flirting, look at their lips when they speak, compliment them on their clothing or a piece of jewelry, get to know people, face people when you speak to them.
Sounds like you might be being a little aggressive on yourself too, lighten up on the death-grip, explore other sorts of touch on yourself. And if it turns out you don’t actually want very much sex that’s ok too.
If you have deathgrip you’re masturbating too much/hard and it will make stimulation during PIV very difficult. Do you find women attractive? You sound as if you want sex for the novelty, but not really. You don’t want sex with a stranger but you’re ok masturbating to strangers? Honestly it just sounds like you either don’t want sex with a partner or you don’t want sex with women in general.