Dear fellow men,
I have always been the type of person that would question my relationships thouroughly. Today, I am in the same predicament, and I cannot know if this is my mind acting up again, or if this is incompatibility. I wondered if any of you ever came from a history of over-questionning everything in a relationship, and once found someone when this just… stopped?
Thank you.
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2 comments
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Intrusive thoughts and doubts are something you don’t have control over, don’t beat yourself up over it. Get to know yourself and your patterns, then you’ll be able to sort of rise above them.
My partner is the love of my life. She wasn’t that when I met her – only now, after 10 years of effort can I say that. She makes me happy and I make her happy. She’s there when life sucks. We’re totally different people than we were when we met, and we’ve changed for each other. The initial conditions matter only a little bit for what keeps a relationship together after a decade. But yeah, I still sometimes think about what if I instead met some other woman, moved some other place, what would my life be like today. Counter-factuals can be fun to ponder.
But don’t let it become an obsession and don’t overthink it. If you’re happy, then just be happy. If you’re not, then don’t lie to yourself and waste both your time. Don’t overthink it.