The night before last during sex, my boyfriend of 3 years, said something along the lines of “I can’t wait until you get your titties done so I can fuck them all the time” Last night after sex when we were laying together he said, “I can’t wait until your tits are done, I will snuggle up in them and just sleep there.” (We were not talking about a boob job, he just says these things randomly) This upset me because while I have told him that I want a boob job before in the past, and we have talked about it, this is very far off for me financially. Not a big deal, I’ll get them done someday when I can. If I was getting them done next week maybe I could understand the excitement and his comments would not sting so much? He makes me feel like he thinks my breasts are gross by making comments like these all the time. My breasts are not small, 34DD but I have had 3 babies (one of which is his) and breastfed them all, plus I suppose my age is a factor…. they’re definitely not full and perky at all anymore. I’m not crazy self conscious of this because I know it’s normal, and I’ve sacrificed my body in a sense for good cause, but it does bother me and I would like to have them lifted someday, I do miss my pre baby boobs. Am I just being too sensitive and insecure about the comments? I don’t understand why can’t he do those things now, before I get a boob job. Am I wrong to expect him to enjoy them as they are without expressing how excited he is for me to get my boobs done? It makes me feel like he’s excited for me “look better”. This is not the first time this exact topic has come up. He has made comments similar to these more times than I can count. Sometimes I ignore them, but every time I get offended/my feelings hurt, instead of validating my feelings and apologizing for inadvertently hurting them, or just stopping the comments, he just gets mad that I felt some type of way about it. And then forgets that these comments bother me and brings it up again. Is this something I should just get let go because the feelings come up from my own insecurities/ or is he being insensitive?
26 comments
Speaking as an avid admirer of boobs: your boyfriend sounds awful.
Yeah, this is gross. Tell him the next time he brings up the boob job, he loses access to the current versions. Whether he gets to see them again before you have it – which, in case he’s forgotten, will not be any time soon – depends on whether he can demonstrate he appreciates the body you have. If he still gets mad at you, time to take this to counseling. (I’d say just walk away, but unfortunately, you have a kid who’s going to be stuck with this shining example of respect and sensitivity for a dad.)
I promise you he doesn’t forget, it’s that he doesn’t care. Him getting mad at you because you’re upset that he’s basically saying he’s excited for you to not look like you is fucking weird. Huge red flag. Honestly if I tried to repeatedly tell my partner comments about my body hurt me and they got MAD at me for it I would simply divorce them because not only do I not deserve that, my kids don’t deserve to watch their mother be treated like that. All it teaches them is it’s either okay to do those things, or it’s okay to let people do those things to them and I don’t want that for my babies, he shouldn’t want it for yours either. I’m so sorry :c your boyfriend sounds gross.
He does not “forget” it hurts your feelings. He just doesn’t care.
Why are you with someone who treats you like this?
He’s twenty-nine years old and no one taught him manners?? Who tf says shit like this. You’re right, if you were getting them done after a long wait and both excited, I’d get it. But like… Huh??
My wife wants a tummy tuck. She’s mentioned it a lot. I want her to feel confident and happy, and have told her that once she can do it I’ll help her pay for it because I want her to like what she sees in the mirror. But she’s beautiful to me as is. I’ll be excited to have it pinned down because she’ll be excited, but I wouldn’t make any similar comments as the date approaches, much less NOW.
Tell him if he’s so excited he can foot the bill. 🙄
What the fuck? I am so sorry he treats you like this! A good boyfriend would praise you for being YOU.
He seems to not care about your feelings. And you know what? If your bombs aren’t “good enough” for him now, the way they are, you shouldn’t let him touch your body anymore. Please dump that idiot and find yourself a man who loves every inch of you the way you are and who respects you and your feelings.
Unless he has dementia, he’s not forgetting these comments bother you. He just doesn’t care that they bother you. This is not normal behavior from a partner.
If my husband said something like this after I had his baby, it would take a very long time and lots of groveling before he ever saw me naked again or got any action in the bedroom.
Don’t waste your time dating people who don’t like you for you and who make you feel bad about yourself.
Gah! He does not FORGET that these comments hurt you. He hurts you on purpose every single time. Whenever he brings it up moving forward, ask him for the $10k to get it done. “Oh, I keep forgetting how important my boob job is to you. Why don’t you pay for it? Write the check, and I’ll schedule it!”
As an aside, your boobs might be big enough to get a reduction (and lift!) that’s covered by your insurance if you have any back pain, etc. might be worth looking into if YOU actually want a boob job.
Tell him maybe you guys should be also saving up for a dick enhancement surgery so he could make you feel good and happy for once
ewwwwwwwwww he’s icky. wtf. girrrrrrrrrrl please please please drop him like he’s lava. yuck.
>And then forgets that these comments bother me and brings it up again.
Oh, he remembers this is painful for you. He’s doing it on purpose. He’s a jerk who likes to kick your self-esteem, this is a core personality trait and it won’t change.
It’s so odd to me that women actually believe that their bfs’ just forget stuff like that – this is the n-th time I have seen a post that consists of “my bf says something hurtful, I told him not to like 1049569thimes, but he just forgets”. Do you think he’s a goldfish? That’s so bizarre and naive. Of course he remembers.
Why doesn’t he get a boob job and he can fondle himself?
He gets ANGRY at you when you tell him saying that makes you feel bad? And then “forgets” and does it again?
Sounds like he’s working to be recategorized as an ex-boyfriend.
Sounds like my ex. Shallow, lame ass dude. So I got them done. He cheated, broke up, bla bla. Met an amazing man who I know wouldn’t have cared about my small boobs, let alone make me feel insecure about them. Have a baby on the way and I’m facing some complications/ revisional surgery because of the implants.
Your boyfriend is an asshole.
Granted I would have probably gotten them done after 3 kids but I felt pressured and now.i have to look at having 2 more kids with implants.
Honestly this would genuinely be a huge dealbreaker for me. No damn way I’m going to take unsolicited comments from my partner about my inadequate features that requires a SURGICAL PROCEDURE to adjust. It’s not a simple and quick change. My ex did this to me- talking about his excitement about my boob job (which was something I mentioned a couple times but was very on the fence about due to BII and my existing autoimmune condition) and I never felt attractive enough for him (despite liking my boobs!).
The fact that your bf gets mad at YOU being hurt over HIS rude ass comments is just nuts. He’s trying to body shame you into getting a risky procedure for his benefit. I hate this guy based off this information alone. I don’t care how great he may be, he’s so wrong for this and you’re not being too sensitive.
Your feelings are coming up because he’s being a complete asshole, it’s not about your insecurities.
My boobs are *not* the same as they were 21 years ago when I got married. My husband tells me they’re perfect, and would be horrified if I started talking about a boob job. I wouldn’t mind one, but he loves the way I am. Having his kids changed my body and he loved me all the same.
Why the fuck are you with someone like that, it’s so gross
he probably thinks if he can slide in comments like these you will feel self conscious enough to get them done quicker. fuck him.
I’d say the same about his dick and see how he likes it, negging little manbabies can usually only understand if they get to taste their own medicine.
Please before you think of this do lots of research , I have dated 2 woman who had them done and one was regretful after her second year as she is scared about leaking , she can’t afford to get them taken out ( over 10k) the other woman says she was told they needed to be replaced after 10 years and can’t afford it . This was a few years back so don’t know now but please investigate
I am constantly saying to my boyfriend how much I want to get my boobs done. His response is usually “why?!” And then I say “because I want them to be more symmetrical and fuller.” And he ALWAYS responds “but they’re perfect” usually making suggestive eyes and winking or biting his lip.
He isn’t against me getting one but he doesn’t “push” it either.
dude needs to stop watching porn. you deserve WAY better.
Babe you are 36 years old. You know *damn well* this isn’t the guy for you. Please spend some time in therapy instead of on Reddit. Some self confidence will help you spot and run from red flags much easier