I’m 19, a college freshman. I met my friends just this year, and our group started with 4, including me in the original 4. We later grew to 7. We had great moments in the first month, always taking pictures together, eating, and going out together. However, as we got closer, I feel like I’m getting left out, and I just can’t keep up with their energy anymore. I feel like I’ve given them all my attention and always taken care of the ones who feel left out, but I don’t get the same energy in return.
Now, two of our friends in our circle got close to some of our classmates, and the last time we ate together, we were already 10. I felt even more left out and uncomfortable, so I just left. Earlier, I did the same thing, but it seems like only 2-3 cared enough to ask me why. How do I tell them?
I’ve already told them once about how I feel, but I kept experiencing the same thing. I’m distancing myself because if I still insist on joining them, I feel like their energy is affected because they need to mind me like a baby. I don’t want to destroy the mood and the atmosphere just because I’m feeling down. I dont want to make another drama. I feel like when i talk about it AGAIN, only few of them will really understand and some will just pretend to care but I just can’t feel their sincerity.
Anyone feels the same?
2 comments
any chance you’re not a group person? my energy definitely goes down with the number of ppl present. why don’t you try to hang out with your friends individually? say “i feel like we haven’t got to hang out 1 on 1 in a while” and see where it goes
At college you should be making multiple friends in a variety of areas (dorm, class, club, activity etc.), so I think the problem here is you’re overly relying on this one group to be your social life. Make them one small part of your social life and expand elsewhere.