It might sound corny and Idk if this is a good place to post because I haven’t really done anything or been with anybody but I’ll give it a shot. I matured physically beyond alot of kids my age I hit puberty years before kids usually start which was 7-8 but I noticed at 9 because I had developed hair in the scrotal region. I kinda wanted to experiment with my body around my early teenage years half way through middle school, i had a lot of confidence in my self imagine and presentation when it comes to being viewed as attractive. I kinda got shamed for it reasoning being my hormones had advanced development I had went through puberty for years at that point. And I don’t blame people for shaming me either because that was a young age to explore and I was raised to be respectful of boundaries to never make girls uncomfortable,I have to guilty of a subconscious to intentionally make a girl uncomfortable or feel threatened and never did even unintentionally because I try to be very considerate of boundaries and feelings. After being shamed for it in my earlier teenage years I lost a lot of self confidence and self esteem and I stopped pursuing relationships with girls for literally years all the way from the 8th grade through high school to now me being 19.I just kinda feel like I’m not attractive or am unlovable.I struggle to pick up signs or hints from people who might be interested due to the fact I haven’t thought about it in years,I get really anxious and kinda freeze when engaging in a conversation with a girl I find attractive.I feel like I’m just always gonna fuck it up and end up alone now that I wanna get back into dating and finding someone to love. I guess I’m just looking for advice on here from people who do have experience and maybe some advice on how to build my confidence and self esteem which I know nobody can change but me but maybe engaging with people with a different perspective can help me actually get through with the process of actually going through with advice and change if anyone has and good tips or started out in a similar position as me but moved beyond it it would be appreciated if you have any good constructive criticism.
3 comments
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Since this implies that you are straight, you have to stop putting women on a pedestal of being out of reach or out of your league.
Fucking up will eventually happen, it’s inevitable, the anxiety you have over it is valid but it means nothing when the pay off outweighs the nerves you have over it, that doesn’t mean you need not do that thing (talk to girls) because the only way you get better at it is by getting a lot of practice with it. The guys with the most amount of game had to start somewhere right? Confidence is built over time. And even if you do get rejected it’s not always a bad thing, trying is better than not ever having the courage to put yourself out there.
Depending what you’d prefer your approach to be, in person interactions need only be respectful in nature but not forceful e.g. you see a woman you’re interested in, you give her your number (instead of putting the pressure on her to do so) mayb3 flirt a little and say, “Call me sometime, I thought you were cute. My name’s _______ by the way.” It may not work every single time but it will work eventually.
Online interactions are so different. If you’re on Tinder you build up your rapport, shift reasonably early to a date and mention early on that you’re pretty shy and maybe nervous too but that you’d like to see if y’all hit it off in person. Being honest about your feelings will be key to communicating any early awkwardness, women appreciate you being straight forward, so be that, be polite and see how you fair.
Duly noted. Tolerance of Humility is one of the bigger things I need to work on because then rejection wouldn’t be as bad appreciate that advice.💯