TLDR:
Me and my girlfriend have been fighting over differences between us and she feels like we aren’t compatible. The thing is that it’s a fixable issue, she just feels unhappy because she feels like she can’t be herself around me so we’ve been arguing for almost a week over it. I’ve said some stupid things along the ways and she’s gotten really mad at me because im trying my hardest and exhausting myself doing it. I always apologize and try to be reasonable.
So what happened? Pretty much me and her got together about 4 months ago. We came on very strong and we were both absolutely obsessed with each other. So much love, affection, and I was her first person she’s slept together even so if that shows her level of trust in me. Well recently she had become very cold, very indifferent, and I started asking about it.
She first told me “she’s just here”. I duh into more over a few days and it spiraled into me panicking because she’s unhappy with me. No calls. No hanging out, and no affection over text.
So now we’ve gone back and forth for days. She’s having doubts about longevity and her family is starting to disapprove of me because of how this is going.
TLDR:
Girlfriend unhappy, she’s having doubts about us due to our incompatibility which can be fixed easily. We’ve talked for days about it to no Avail, what to do?
3 comments
Generally speaking, if a relationship is rocky at 4 months, it has no future.
At 4 months in, you two should be at your MOST eager to please and most willing to compromise. Arguing in this stage means *something* isn’t matching up, even if you don’t know exactly what it is. It’s normal and natural to have doubts about it, because this is a massive red flag the relationship is already doomed.
Most problems in the end *could* be fixable if both people were willing to change. But lasting change is very difficult, and people generally don’t like changing themselves in order to make a relationship work.
Without you giving a specific example of a fight it’s hard to say if this is recoverable or not, but your “stupid things” comment and flippancy toward change makes me suspect you’re at least part of the problem here.
Can you give an example of a “stupid thing” you’ve said and how she’s reacted to it?
Call it quits, man. If she’s playing cold and distant, she ain’t feeling the love anymore. You can’t glue happiness back together.
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