Issues with boyfriend’s mom/family and I’m getting fed up

Hi guys, just wanted some thoughts/advice about this. My boyfriend (25 M) and I (25 F) have been together for a long time. His mom has always been really weird and rude and I’m not sure if I should leave because of this or if there’s hope that my boyfriend & I can overcome this. So my boyfriend is middle child, he’s gotten middle child treatment his whole life. His mom favorites his older sister and younger brother. She includes them in everything and they’re the first to know everything. His mom acts like an immature teenage girl, she’s always drinking. she has different baby daddy’s and has the worst taste in men as in they all treat her badly. She’s terrible with her money. She’s never been an expressing/loving parent, she’s awkward. Not confrontational either which has led my bf to grow up the same (not confrontational, not being able to express his feelings). But I’ve been teaching him how to be more expressive and he’s been doing great!

I’ve talked to his mom a couple times but then there’s been times where she ignores me or doesn’t say hi sometimes. Last time I said hi twice after leaving and entering their home because I was taught that growing up which she then ignored me. My bf told her “mom she said hi” and she answered saying “i know i heard her. I already said hi to her earlier.” Then she acts rude and dry majority of the time. She only wants to talk to me whenever she wants to and when the holidays come (Christmas for example) she wants to pretend like we’re all family and gives me unthoughtful gifts and expects me to give her something nice in return. My boyfriend’s mom gave the sister’s boyfriend a crockpot and she gave me a journal after I had gone all out for her lol. I don’t want to participate in her stuff anymore. She throws parties and tells my boyfriend “oh we can do this and that as a family” but never includes me or mentions me knowing I go over often.

My boyfriend is tired of them treating him like crap as well. His bday a few years ago, we celebrated with them and instead of making him feel special they put him down and were asking me what do i see in him. Then they talk about themselves and their bdays. I sometimes get upset that he goes to these things or celebrates things with them after they do things like that to him. I feel like when he goes to those things he’s allowing them to be that way. The mom doesn’t think she does anything wrong and she thinks she’s mom of the year.

I grew up being confrontational and sometimes I feel like telling them something and he’s the opposite, they beat around the bush instead of being upfront. For example, the sisters bf lives at their house and he’s a leech. The mom allows this guy to do whatever he wants because she doesn’t want to say anything to him since the sister helps pay for the house they live in. She sides with the sister all the time and the sister tells my boyfriend he can’t be parking on the street in-front of their house and that her bf parks there when the bf already parks in the drive way? The sister is also very stingy, as well as the mom. They both take stuff from him like food and when it comes to him, they tell him not to touch their stuff. Anyways, point is, I don’t like how they come at my boyfriend and that pisses me off as well but my boyfriend doesn’t say anything and lets them have it.

My boyfriend hates conflict and wants me to brush all of this off and I can’t. It bothers me so much because they do whatever they want and step all over him. He tells me to let it go and that it won’t change anything. He thinks they’re all going to gang up on him and he feels like he HAS to tolerate their crap until he moves out. He also says that I get the treatment I get because i’m his girlfriend and he’s the kid the mom favorites least. She always seems like she resents him and brings up how he looks like the dad but in a disgusted way. She has a dark past and she’s always been harsh with him. I don’t get how a mother can be that way with her own son. She does more things for strangers than for him knowing that’s her son. They don’t have conversations like normal people, she only talks to him when she wants the rent or wants help financially.

Anyways, he says he doesn’t want to see them again once he moves out. We’re planning to move out in 2025 because I’m planning to go to grad school. But this is so draining! We’re doing long distance already and I can’t even be at his house because I don’t feel comfortable being over there and I’m starting to feel fed up.

I love him so much but I think about all this and I don’t want to be around those people in the future.
FYI, i’ve always been nice to the mom. she didn’t congratulate me when I graduated but knew, she made a dumb comment about how she wouldn’t go to the location that me and my boyfriend went to on a trip (gave hater vibes), and then I helped her out when her brother died last year. She started a go-fund me and I donated money and still acts the way she does. Not that she owes me anything but I did it out of the kindness of my heart and idk. Then when me and my boyfriend were also younger, I was there for him more than she ever was. While he was at home starving, she was out drinking. I was helping him out with the little money I was making at my first job.

Should I just ignore everything? Are we able to be okay and move on? We know we want to be together. I just feel like what if when he does move he still feels obligated to do things for them? I can’t tolerate them anymore. Help 🙁

TLDR: My boyfriend’s mom/family is becoming a problem in our relationship because of how she is towards me and how badly she treats him.