I know it sounds bad. We’ve been together for 3 years since school and I realised that I’m just simply not attracted to him sexually anymore and it’s been like this for a while. physically he’s change a little and it makes me feel shallow to even say that but it’s affected things, but mostly when we have actual sex the passion isn’t what it was and I just don’t enjoy it anymore I’m just put off the entire time. everything gives me the ick
I haven’t talked to him about it yet because it’s such a terrible thing to even think and im so ashamed to bring it up to him because it’s so hurtful and ugly on my part, but I hate that I have to basically fantasise about other things or commit to only doing it in doggy to even go through with sex and at least enjoy it a little bit
I know I’m a terrible person but what should I do?
In case it matters this is my first serious relationship
8 comments
Not date him
You started dating at 16. You were too young then to actually know what you actually like in a partner both physically and emotionally. Hell you’ll probably be figuring that out for a few more years too. You’re not a terrible person for growing apart from him.
I think it would be wrong to keep staying with him when you know you don’t want him. That’s leading him on. And as much as you deserve someone you’re attracted to and interested in, he deserves someone who feels those things for him too.
End it
Break up with him so you both have the chance to find a better match
It’s perfectly normal for attraction to wane. You mention that he’s “physically changed a little” but don’t go into detail. Is this change something that can be reversed? If it were, and he did revert back, do you think the attraction would be back? These are all questions worth answering for your own growth. Regardless, you are young and shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. You’re likely to go through a few different types before you find your person. Don’t rush it.
Leave
Gently, respectfully break up with him. That’s what you should do.
1. Did you guys do it very often? If so then taking a break is fine
2. Do you guys do foreplay or only get straight into it?