I’m curious if anyone here is in a relationship with someone who is HSV+ 1 & 2, and what that looks like for your relationship.
Do you have sex frequently?
Have you just accepted the fact you may “get it”, but actively practice safe sex?
If approaching 40, being aware and actively being safe, what risk is truly involved? I understand it’s likely that a large % of us have oral, though I have neither currently.
2 comments
Nearly everyone has been exposed to HSV1. I dated someone with HSV1 for two and a half years and she would repeatedly have outbreaks with visible cold sores; I never “caught” it from her, and have never had any cold sores. Many people, however, who don’t openly display cold sores are still actively shedding it. I was probably exposed to HSV1 before her because I’ve kissed a rather large number of people (I think 50+ before her? I am reserved about sex but not about kissing haha) and have never worried about HSV1. Not to mention on top of kissing, I’m not a hygeine freak and I have always been pretty free about sharing drinks and food, and that can also pass HSV1.
Symptoms and outbreaks of HSV1 are more a function of immune system, stress, genetics, and diet (the ratio of lysine to arginine being key, a lot of people’s diets are deficient in lysine, mainly because wheat, a staple of the Western diet, is highly deficient in lysine. probably the best widespread source of lysine is cheese though so if you eat a lot of cheese you probably get enough.)
HSV2 is a little less prevalent, slightly less than half of people being exposed to it. I really don’t think it’s worth thinking about though. Again, if you have it, immune health, stress, and diet are the things that you can control that drive outbreaks.
I literally never think / worry about HSV1. I know I’ve been exposed to it and I probably have it in my system and I clearly never have symptoms.. This is most people.
I had one person I went on one date with who announced to me that she had HSV2 but we didn’t get to having sex for other unrelated reasons. I also had another person I was hanging out with but not really involved with sexually, who told me she had HSV2. If I had had a partner I wanted to be with and they had HSV2 I don’t think it would stop me, like since I’m not aware of having been exposed, I would avoid contact (any kind of contact including oral or fingers) with an area with active sores but short of that I wouldn’t think of it. There are a lot of scarier diseases out there including ones you can get from going to the supermarket (flu, COVID, etc.)
My last regular partner (FWB) was completely ok with it. We used condoms until I’d been on Valtrex for two weeks. I don’t take suppressants unless I’m in a relationship or think it my be a recurring thing. I always disclose but will not go without condoms. I’ve known my former FWB forever, I told him when we first met. But he had previously had symptomatic HPV so we never got intimate. I already have one problem, didn’t need another.
Kinda regret that. Nothing like what if I’d given him a chance back then? It wouldn’t have lasted because he annoys the crap out of me & vice versa. We can only take a couple of days together before we are getting on each other’s nerves.
But I know several couples who have been together for years, one has it, the other doesn’t. Married, kids, the whole shabang. You just need to be aware of your body, know when to abstain.