How do guys not catch feelings?

24 comments

1. They do.

   Stop getting your opinions from fucking TikTok.

2. Women really gotta stop thinking the top 10% conventionally attractive men are the standard for all men.

   Cause I sure af do, I tried FWB *once*, and caught the feels, which ended up in disaster for me.

3. Aha ez just not be interested in her enough but she’s at least barely hot enough to bang

4. We do, but that’s why you both have to be honest. You can have some feelings for someone you’re sleeping with but you know that you shouldn’t have the expectations of a formal or exclusive relationship.

5. We got taught to catch balls and Frisbees

6. Lust and love are similar but not the same. One gives while the other takes.

7. The reason it can be a bit easier is because most of us have always felt alone. Very little of what we experience even suggests that we are cared for. It is understood in any conversation that we don’t have to matter to anyone and people can just speak about us in ways that don’t value our well-being at all. That might be a completely foreign concept to a woman who can walk into a room and demand empathy, looking at others as immoral for not providing it. We can’t even imagine being able to suggest that we are important in a conversation… Speaking in such a way is shameful… As if our own sacrifice is always expected. Pay attention to interactions with men and ask yourself who in the room is expected to treat him like his feelings matter… That might open some eyes.

   It can be a lot easier to not feel in that environment. Feeling supported by people makes you feel attached…. But that feeling of support is pretty much absent in our daily life. Even when interacting with our loved ones… The frame is always on her feelings and needs. She is the one that must be protected. When we suffer, we have to be careful about bringing it up because the moment hearing it starts to upset her…. Her being upset is now the immediate issue.

   It doesn’t do us much good to “catch feelings” in this case…. And suggesting we do doesn’t really change the outcome so that doesn’t help very much. So we just learn not to. It is still very possible for us to feel…. But it can be quite easy…. Easier, in fact… To not.

8. By spinning plates.

9. Dude, unlike tiktoks popular opinion men are human beings just like you. Of course we catch feeling.

10. Get off TikTok. It makes you dumb.

11. I do and that’s why I’ll never be into hookup, ons, fwb or whatever sex for sex stuff you will see.

12. What does “act like they’re dating” mean?

13. I avoid catching feelings by not bothering with women, at all.

    I’m ok with being alone.

    It beats the entire shit out of being betrayed and heartbroken.

14. Because we store them in a pokeball when we catch them.

15. I don’t do casual because of that reason.

16. Hit the fucking gym you’ll learn everything

17. I hope we as a society can one day learn to hold people accountable without writing off the entire group they’re a part of as ontologically wicked

18. This isn’t exclusive to guys. If anyone doesn’t catch feelings after acting like theyre dating someone and having sex multiple times, it usually because:

    A) They have other options and they know it. The person theyre seeing is just someone theyre settling with for now until they find someone better. Harsh but true.

    B) They’re desensitized to novelty, and cynical towards relationships, usually because they’re still broken from a previous relationship(s) and havent taken the time to heal. They aren’t ready to trust or be vulnerable.

    C) The women they happen to attract just aren’t worth dating. Guys will know what I mean.

    D) All the of the above.

    The sort of men you’re describing are generally the top 20%, hypersexual, increasingly predatory men that 80% of women are actually initially attracted to. Your average man isn’t messing around breaking hearts on purpose and most likely craves a relationship as much as the average woman does.

19. Men aren’t a monolith. Don’t get your opinions off of TikTok.

20. Many men have learned, out of necessity and survival, to practice “mental compartmentalization”.

21. Some guys go out to just hook up and look for physical stuff only. Some guys want more and want the emotional attention and will get attached. Not all guys are looking for the physical stuff and most ones looking for relationships will get feelings. Personally, I’ve always been the latter, and I really need the feelings with the meaning behind sex that I have with me.

    Men are not a monolith. Women really need to stop looking at a few isolated cases and think that’s every man.

22. Guys can have sex with a girl and not have feeling at all but if they are acting like they are in a relationship with them they like them at least a bit just don’t want to commit

23. I don’t know what guys your referring to but I get attached really easy which is why I can’t do hookups or fwb. I remember I once talked to girl senior year and for a few weeks I thought things were going well until I she told me I’m a really good friend I wasn’t offended and glad she felt that way but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt and kinda got attached even though its my fault not hers.

24. I regulate my emotions well. If we establish that we aren’t a serious thing then I will never catch feelings. If we start dating and I let myself build feelings then I might catch feelings.