I (24F) currently reside in India and ran into someone at a party (29M). We shared a couple mutuals and that’s how we got into a conversation. I found him cute and followed him later on instagram. Fast-forward a couple weeks, I decided to search him on google hoping to find his LinkedIn but came across two-three news articles from national newspapers that mentioned him and a couple other men along with him, getting busted for selling drugs worth over $40k.

All the following information was through stalking— He still instagram-follows one of the guys who was busted with him. There have been allegations on his dad for peddling drugs, and luring young women from their community, into prostitution and forcing them to peddle. Furthermore, his dad (acc. to the news articles) is also involved in importing these drugs into India, and has good network amongst politicians and cops, and pays a chunk load for protection to carry these activities out, unabated.

All the following information was through conversations with him— He’s still on trial and visits the court, periodically. He’s been in the central jail for about 6mo. He’s currently on bail. If the final hearing would be against him, he’d perhaps have to go to prison for about 10y or so. He’s personally guilty of it and has claimed to have had tie-ups with the customs, and have had 20 people or so, peddle for him. He has MPD.

I am at the prime point of my career and I’m very ambitious. I need to take care of my family. I am also planning for my higher studies, overseas. I cannot afford to fall into any legal trouble.

However, what really blurs out the lines of logic to me are the following—

* It’s not like I haven’t done illicit substances, recreationally, in the past so there is no aggressive moral code, so to speak.
* He is extremely adorable and soft-spoken, he’s really kind and giving, as a person. He’s creative and I absolutely love his music.
* He has best friends who often hang out with him, and these are regular people like you and me, who have jobs and families and a normal life and are not associated with anything illegal. They know his history and still have that friendship with him.
* I’m super altruistic and an empath. The way I see it, he’s a person after all who has a personality and things he likes and dislikes like a commoner. Should his criminal background abstain him from leading a normal life and having normal friendships and relationships?

*I do not intend to pursue him longterm or exclusively. I am just immensely attracted to him and find his company, refreshing and would love to meet him occasionally and have physical intimacy with him on those one-off chances. Nothing beyond that.* (FYI, I’ve made out with him a few times, already)

**Some of my present concerns are:**

1. Does him being on trial mean I could immediately be on radar if any new probe takes place?
2. Would my recreational use of illicit substances come into light due to #1?
3. Should I be distancing myself from him, would you recommend, I ghost or talk about how I feel and then proceed?
4. If everyone around him were/are concerned about their legal safety, how does he have regular people as his closest friends?

I hope y’all can be a little kinder with words in this thread, thanks x
**TLDR**: I met a guy whom I started fancying, and he turned out to be a former drug peddler and so did his dad. I want to continue pursuing him just for casual stuff (regardless of it being irrational) so I need advice.

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3 comments
  1. Girl RUN. I’ve had multiple friends who got involved with actual criminals – mind you not nearly big enough criminals that they’d make headlines – and none of it ended well. Especially outside of your county. I wouldn’t ghost him immediately, honestly I would make up some story that he finds really disgusting, like tell him you have a chronic disease where you fart all the time (sorry to my morbus crohn sisters 🙁 ❤️), start burping randomly in front of him, stuff like that. Anything that makes him lose attraction and interest in you. Tell him you were once married to your brother or something, idk. Just make up some random shitty story. That your parents are coming to visit and that they only eat green food because of their religion and that they won’t let you date anyone who doesn’t eat green food.

    I mean especially if his father and further family is involved into high end gang shit this makes you less safe. There’s 7 billion people on this planet, you don’t need a misogynistic criminal in your panties and your heart. Plus delete this thread afterwards as well.

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