I really don’t know what to do!! I (34m) have been married to my wife (33f) for just over three years. We were friends for 15 years before that. We dated on and off over those 15 years. She never lived on her own and never had her own bills to pay. I am pretty sure that this was the first 🚩 that I ignored. I am a mixed man (mother w father b) and that never seemed to be a problem. Until… her father refused to come to the wedding. When that happened it seemed like the whole world turned upside down. I was stuck and headed towards the line. Once we were married she started keeping me and my family apart. She don’t cook, she don’t clean, and when I do it all she finds a problem with what I did.
Sorry I’m kind of rushing through this
She wants to control every situation in our lives. From when I see my friends to when I can talk to my other mother and what I can tell her. She’s gone. So far as to check the mileage on my truck to see how far I’ve gone in a day. She monitors my checking account and even tries to monitor my business accounts to know what all I do.
I was headed out the door with divorce papers. The same day that I was going to give them to her I found out she was pregnant. So I’m sticking around for the sake of my kids. At 12 weeks she miscarried. (Triplets) I cared for her. I waited on her hand and foot. I cooked. I cleaned I did everything. She’s always been mean but with all of the hormones going crazy she became even more so. I’ve stuck it out but with all that was going on I never had time for myself to grieve the children we don’t have.
I have since sunk into such a deep depression that there seems to be no light around. She makes me feel so much worse and honestly I’m not sure why I haven’t unsliced myself yet. It seems like it’s the only way to get past it all. I can be out and about and work all day around people but the second I get home I immediately settle into a funk. I want to be able to talk to her but she’s not interested. There’s nothing more lonely than being with someone who makes you feel lonely.
What do I do??
7 comments
Follow through with a heavy and blatantly frank conversation about how you feel and see if she is even receptive to working on the relationship. Air everything.
If she isn’t, go forward with divorce.
If she is but you aren’t in it anymore, or up to the heavy work it will take to get your marriage in better grounds, serve those divorce papers.
And wear protection if you have sex with her so she can’t baby trap you.
Divorce obviously. As fast as possible.
I’m sorry you all experienced a miscarriage. That’s terrible, but could also be a sign. First things first, have a very honest conversation with her about how you feel. Secondly, I would highly recommend that you do not get her pregnant again. She may want to have another child due to the miscarriage, but if you know your adamant about a divorce, do not bring a child (or children) into this world. That’s not fair to the child or either of you.
That’s a death without the physical death.
I know what you mean when you say lonely. Go and bring out the divorce papers.
You leave
Be strong and leave her. If you want her to be a better person and possibly have a future with her, you are gonna have to leave her. Some people actually need a brick house to fall on them before they understand. She seems to be that person.