We are 19 f and m, dating for 4.5 yrs. I am autistic so please be detailed with your responses.
Every time he comes to me needing emotional support for something I’ve done that hurt him I have no clue how to handle it correctly. I have no clue what to say and I feel guilty for even hurting him and I just try to move on and throw solutions at it (especially when I can’t change it) but he’s at his breaking point with it. I need to know how to do this without repeating what he says or getting so overridden with guilt that I can’t comfort him.
For example, today he told me that he is upset that I’ve never taken him out on a date because I cannot drive yet(health reasons). He said he’s mourning something he never had. I didn’t know what to say other than that I was really sorry that I made him feel neglected and that he missed out, and that I will try to do what I can to emulate the being “taken out” feeling until then and I gave him some examples of that. Ofc that didn’t help him feel any better and we started arguing. I’m just at a loss as to how to support him and I need to learn ASAP, I just don’t know what to do and my autism makes me struggle with empathy all the time. I don’t want it to sound insincere or like I’m just going off a script. Please help.
Tldr: I don’t know how to emotionally support my bf when I’ve hurt him. My guilt takes over and I just try to put a bandaid on it. Please help.
1 comment
I personally think you handled the example really well. I’m not sure what else there is for you to do. Does he say what he wishes you would do instead?