My boyfriend and i have known each other for 11 months months now and dating for 3. Recently he was acting very distant and came up to me and said that he might be a little depressed. He used to be very energetic but now he barely has the energy to do stuff with me. I’ve talked to him about it cause I feel upset that we don’t talk the same way we used to and that we’ve been barely spending any time together. (he doesn’t respond as much. Sometimes he just doesn’t respond to some of my texts. I’ve told him that we weren’t talking much anymore and he said he just doesn’t want to talk and don’t know what to talk about) He realises that he’s been distant and kept apologising about it. He also said that hes just been very independent and keeping to himself recently.
I have also brought up the idea of asking him if he wants to just remain as friends if it’s affecting him. He replied saying that he’s fine with that as he doesn’t want me to worry at school. I said I still love him and he said he still loves me very much too it’s just that the distance was also quite hurting him on top of that.(we were planning to meet somewhere next year during the holidays) I told him that he’s been very different nowadays and he said his close friends irl have said the same thing and he hates being like that but he’s just so out of it but sometimes when I see him online with his online friends he acts very normal around them. (ik it’s bad but I have felt jealous about it cause he casually acts normally around them but when I’m there he avoids me abit and I feel hurt)
One time I joined him in game and he was acting very different when I’m around. I’m not sure if it’s cause he doesn’t want me to be there or if he’s just losing interest. He has also said that he hates being selfish and independent and the last thing he ever wants to do is hurt me. He has also told me that he doesn’t want other people to be involved with his stupid problems and that I’m not responsible for holding his weight. After the confrontation I told him that I am there for him and assured him that he is never a burden to me.
I have also told him that I want us to pull through together this difficult period that he’s in. He responded saying that he can’t promise anything will change and I said it’s okay I will wait and i can wait. Unless he wants to break it off with me I can respect that and I understand. We are still in a relationship but Im not really sure how else can i give him support.
Today I asked him if we could just call and talk as I also wanted to check up on him and see how he’s doing. The call went just fine and it was very normal but when he had to go I just told him again that regardless of what happens I will be always be there for him and told him how much I love him because I care for him. I asked if he has considered seeking professional help and he responded saying if it gets to that point he’ll think about it. I also told him to tell me if he ever needed space I’ll give him space.
My heart aches to see him like this. He beats himself up alot I’m worry about him. I’ve told him if I could just call him sometimes just to check on how he is and he said he’s fine with it. I want to understand how he’s feeling and give him all the support I can give him. I miss him very much I just want him to be happy.
Tldr: bf has been distant. When asked, he said he’s been a little depressed and Im not sure on how else can i support him. I love him very much and told him I’m not giving up on him.