She had sex with a guy in July and even though we were on a break, we made a promise to each other about not going out to meet other people. In August she asked me to start dating again and I accepted. Only in late October while we were drunk in a party she partly confessed about what she did. I found out about the whole thing later on after asking more and more.

In the meantime, we have sex as usual but I keep thinking of her with the other guy and I can’t even do doggy anymore because that’s how they finished. Is this feeling ever going to go away?

45 comments

  1. Bro she literally cheated by breaking the promise yall made. I would leave plain and simple.

    Edit: I was in the same situation a few years ago took a break with my gf at the time. She didnt fuck someone else better yet she accepted a proposal. Fuck that. I left and before I did I told her I had talked about her to her ex bestfriend who she hates. She got livid was well worth it.

  2. A little info: did you sleep with anyone else during your “break”?

    If you’re interested in carrying on a relationship with this girl, pick up a book on “retroactive jealousy”. If you don’t handle this now, you’re going to become bitter and indignant and you’re going to leave her or cheat on her.

  3. It may go away but I think you two should talk or talk more. She may be able to help you by easing your mind or whatever.

  4. No it’s not ever going to go away. If you were on a break, but can’t see other people.. what’s the point.

  5. > we made a promise to each other about not going out to meet other people

    > She had sex with a guy

    > I did make out with another woman I met

    Did she go out to meet this guy or was it under different circumstances?

    Edit: OP says she met him in a bar. That sounds like it violates the agreement she made with OP. That’s cheating, and OP would be a fool to not leave her.

  6. She broke your trust, so I can see why you would feel so hurt. This distrust is not gonna go away if you guys don’t talk it out and make clear what your boundaries are. And step she will have to take to try and regain your trust. That is if you still wanna try and make it work.

  8. Crazy to me that you know those details. But yeah, why are you with her?

    She asked you to get back together. It wasn’t you. So is this someone you’d still be fighting for if she hadn’t taken that step of asking you?

  9. Probably not.

    I would say that “cheating” is subjective and based upon the agreement in the relationship.

    If the two of you agreed to stay celebate while you worked things out, and then she broke that promise, I would be pretty upset.

    Furthermore, I believe the fact that she slow rolled the truth on her infidelity displays that she understands how this would hurt you, so delayed giving you the info as to prevent you from making an informed decision about getting back together with her in the first place…

    I would ask yourself this: If she had told you the day she asked to get back together that she had done all this, do you think you would have gotten with her?

    I would take the answer to that question as to whether or not you should stay.

    IMO a break is meant to use time and space to make a relationship better during a time of great stress; her willingness to sleep with someone else is indicative of someone who is not 100% invested in the long-term health of their partner or the relationship.

  10. This is the exact scenario I was terrified of when my partner and I were on a break. If she had done that, I certainly wouldn’t have gotten back because the thoughts would never leave my mind.

    Even a one-time thing can easily haunt you seemingly forever, but it’s still possible to move past it, even though it’s very challenging.

  11. Sadly, no it wont go away. The trust is broken and it’ll be almost impossible to get over it. Find you a good one with a fat ass and doggy her. Best of luck bud

  13. Lmfao. She made that promise to keep you on the burner while she went out and fucked. To the streets. You aren’t gonna get more warnings.

  16. no the feelings won’t go away, stop wasting your time and leave her. and dont you feel bad about it

  18. Tell her you love her and book a 1 month getaway international cruise with her credit card. Right as y’all board tell her you might have HIV from an orgy with 8 models on ur break and then ghost her and bounce. If you’re lucky she will freak and some of her hair will fall off.

  20. Pack it up my boi. You can try and fix it all you want but if you keep feeling this way it will definitely affect your sex drive towards her which will further lead to you not wanting her at all.

  21. Have some wild 3somes building new memories together that should get you over it or finish it

  23. You are mentally cock blocking yourself and you have one of two choices. 1). Find a way to forgive and forget, put it out of your mind and keep out of your mind and move forward with your relationship. 2). Break up with her, stay away from her and move on with your life and someone else and never look back. There’s no right or wrong decision here, just what you can live with or cannot live with. But staying in a relationship with someone you cannot forgive will only result in everything between you turning toxic and toxic relationships usually turn violent, there’s no reason for that to happen. Again, there’s no right or wrong in staying or going, but it is an adult decision. So man up and make the decision and move forward with whichever decision you make. Life’s just that simple!

  24. A break is another word for fuck another guy to a girl. Breaks are just made up things Hollywood taught people.

    A real relationship has no breaks only trust and communication to solve the issue people have to want a break in the first place.

    It’s like a condom you use it until you pull out. You can’t use that same condom again because you can’t trust it being your protection against viruses and impregnating your partner.

  25. If you were on a break then it’s not cheating. But then again, you two made a promise based on mutual trust and she broke it by fucking another dude, so it is cheating. But what is the point of a break then anyway? I don’t know.

    But I can tell you that the feeling you currently have is unlikely to go away, it will always lurk from somewhere and pushing it down will only make it resurface later. Feeling of betrayal from the person you love is one of the hardest things to swallow. My honest suggestion is that you move on, she is not the one for you.

  26. > asking more and more

    So instead of just leaving? While also knowing that you made out with someone too?

    C’mon lol

  29. Get out of this relation ASAP. I waited for another year and I wasted a while year. Exactly the same situation

    Also, I missed a great chance to be with someone I rather liked, but I decided to stay “loyal”

  30. It’s up to you if you want it to go away, if you do you can just attempt to push the thoughts out of your mind and eventually it won’t bother you anymore. However its easier said than done as those thoughts can really be fucking haunting.

  32. I went through the same thing in my younger years. We broke up but stayed “lfriends with benefits, and then she got with another dude. Later on we decided to get back together and this became a huge issue. You’ll never reconcile this or move past it, you’ll never trust her, you’ll never get over it. Leave her now and find someone else. If someone older had given me this advice and I’d followed it back then, I would have saved myself so much misery.

  33. Acceptance is the only key bro, give it time… you need time to forget all the stuff you did w your gf… prolly an year or so… you ll be fine after that

  36. I can’t tell you what your definition of cheating is but to me, if you’re not together then it’s not cheating. She broke a promise but you were not in a relationship so to me it’s not the same. If you can’t move on, don’t drag it out. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Work things out mentally and decide what you want to do.

  39. >we made a promise to each other about not going out to meet other people…I found out about the whole thing later on after asking more and more.

    Dump her.

  40. Bro , she fucking cheated on you . If any girl would have done that to me I would have left her right on the scene , bye bye hope not to see your face again . Even if you love someone fucking crazy , yet you should be brave enough to leave the table if faith , truth , respect and love is not getting served .
    Remember:- love of your life should be a reason of your happiness and not burden and false security

  41. I never understood the “on a break” thing, you are either in it nor you’re not. This on a break shit is just an excuse for one or the other (or both) to have a free pass at fucking someone else. That is bullshit.
    Besides that, y’all had an agreement that she broke.
    Get out now because these visions of her fucking some other dude will never, ever leave you. You are setting yourself up for nothing but suspicion, mistrust, and an unenjoyable sex life if you decide to try to stick it out with her.
    Don’t do it bro, move on.

  43. I was with a girl and she made out with someone infront of me. Was a “drunken mistake”. We weren’t on a break and it still hurt a lot. I’d say leave her, man. It’s not worth having that thought in the back of your head, you’re worth it man. Good luck

  44. At your age, there’s no point in salvaging this relationship with a cheating girlfriend.

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