**TL-DR ;** : How I can stop having a crush on someone I see everyday while being in a LDR relationship?
Hi everyone.
This post is going to be painful, so please do not judge me. I am going to let my thoughts out and be raw.
I (F22) have been with my bf (M22) for almost 2 years. We love each other, and before two months ago, no one else has occupied my thoughts. I am bisexual, and I tend to be attracted to people, but I was never interested in anyone else besides my bf.
We have been in a LDR since September. Around that time, I met someone from where I study. I guess from the beginning I already knew this would happen, but it is complicated because I have to see him everyday. We are good friends, we look like each other a lot. But honestly it was just that for a long time. Didn’t really care, I was still obsessed all the time with my partner.
However this week, it unfortunately changed. We hung out a long time and I got drunk. We had this serious discussion about sex, love, and friendship, and I realised that I had a crush on this person. Didn’t really understand why, but now I know – we just look alike a lot. A LOT.
Since this moment, I have been thinking a lot about this person. Honestly, I don’t even find him attractive, the personality does it for me. I try not to compare both people in my head but I have to be honest. My bf is the best person in the world, and I thank the sky everyday for meeting him. This guy right there is just me. I honestly experience all the symptoms of a crush – excitation, shyness, jealousy.
My bf has probably noticed it bc he notices everything anyway. I tried to hide it but sometimes I feel too ashamed to talk to him.
As soon as I realised what was happening, I told a friend. But instead of helping me, she judged me and said it was not normal to feel attracted to other people while being in a relationship.
My dilemma is this : how can I stop anything from going further, especially bc I suspect that this person is kind of into me – while having to hang out with this person on a regular basis because we study together?
I want my perfect relationship with my perfect bf again. I guess LDR does not help. How can I stop this?
2 comments
You’re young and this kind of thing happens. Particularly in long distance relationships. You can’t just magically put things back together. Either you distance yourself from your crush, set boundaries to make clear that you don’t want more than a friendship, or ask yourself if that’s what you really want. When’s your long distance thing going to change? Is there a plan to be closer? If not, this problem isn’t going anywhere.
Only way for crush to go away is to put distance between you and him, otherwise it will be very difficult for you to resist and not to cheat. You are already very close, some people would even say that you already cheating emotionally on your bf… You hang out for long time, got drunk with him and serious talk about sex and love and friendship??? At the same time you keep that hidden from your bf… If you hiding it, you are probably aware its wrong… If you want to stay with your bf, I would suggest to talk with both of them… to crush try to explain what you feeling and that you feeling bad about it because you love your bf and would like to stay with him(that would be very difficult due to LDR)a nd it best to make your time together at minimum if not even go no contact if possible… then with your bf, be honest, thats very important, if he catches you in lie or he finds about that from someone else, he would probably feel betrayed and wouldnt know anymore for sure when you telling truth and when a lie… trust can be lost very easy and almost impossable to get it back after… I was there in spot where your bf is now and thats my perspective.. but idk, maybe your bf is different, its common today that young people are more liberal about this stuff… sorry if english is bad at times, its not my native…