My (49F) partner (54M) are in two completely different financial situations. I make mid 6 figures and he is pulling about 65k/yr. He does not know how much I make (we have been dating <1 year and neither of us want to get married again, so it just hasn’t come up). I do not care about money. I have been financially independent for a while – so do not expect or need a partner to come to the table with an equivalent financial situation.
Because of his low income, he is having trouble paying his mortgage and is facing foreclosure. He does not live beyond his means, he just had some rough years (deaths, divorce, etc) that kinda wrecked him financially.
He seems to have accepted selling his house makes the most sense for a number of reasons – but seems just keen to let the house get foreclosed on during the process. Which is something I’m having trouble wrapping my head around. If I were younger and wanted to marry and have children with him – I would probably care much more about him wrecking his credit. But right now – there is no impact to me. He did not have the same type of financial education growing up that I did, nor does have he have the family support that I have. So theres a learning curve – but again, he seems eager to learn.
If in the future we decide to cohabitate, my salary and credit score can secure a reasonable mortgage so his credit score should have no impact. He seems hell bent on getting to a better place once he gets passed this bump.
He has not asked for money, nor have I offered nor do I really plan on it unless he is like days away from eviction and he would be homeless.
Is this just a major red flag I’m choosing to ignore? What else am I missing? Help.
TLDR – I outearn my partner, who is risking foreclosure and poor credit. What do I need to think about?
2 comments
Gigantic red flag that he isn’t actively looking for solutions. What else does he not take care of?
I’d feel guilty if I didn’t speak up and encourage him to get better advice re: foreclosure.
It’s easy to become paralyzed in these moments. To just let things happen to you. I’d want to encourage him to do the sad thing as well as possible, because there will be a day after the house and while that day is gonna be bad, it doesn’t have to be even worse.