How much of a cultural difference is there between cities for dating compatibility?

19 comments

1. I don’t think this matters for most people. Chances are you might prefer someone who is less likely to have known you during the embarrassing phases of your youth.

2. It is entirely fine and normal to date people from completely different places, even countries.

   If you both grew up in an area, you have that connection yes, but there are many other connections you can have to someone

3. I’m from Florida and my wife is from Alabama. My family is from New Jersey and hers are all from Alabama. Other than it being hilarious to us when extended family gets together, there really isn’t much difference between them all.

4. I think compatibility in terms of personality, interests, etc. is much more important. Where people grew up will have a role in shaping those things, but it’s just one of many, many influences. Presumably our hypothetical couple are living in the same place when they meet, so their regions of origin are just another part of their past.

5. I grew up outside a town of 400 people, so the pool you’re talking about is extremely shallow and I have since moved away.

   I am also mortified at how I existed back then. I’d rather not have that time to be their first impression of me.

6. ‘you can’t go home again’ – live long enough & eventually this will be true no matter where you go.

   Personally ‘fell in love with a Jersey girl’ & home is where the heart is (and where I pay property taxes, work, raise my family).

   Romeo chose Juliette over Roslin; it isn’t ‘romance’ if its easy.

   I feel like the OP doesn’t understand that nostalgia is fleeting. And so is passion. ‘love is all there is’ – those four boys from way across the ocean were onto something.

   ‘so you can hide behind your rosary but sooner or later it all comes down to fate’

7. We move around quite a lot, over long distances. It wouldn’t be practical to only date people from the place I grew up. I don’t know any of those people anymore.

8. I think people have a bond to where they grew up,but at the same time think that people would find it strange if someone turned down an otherwise good romance because they weren’t born in the same town.

9. I left my hometown to get away from those people. I always felt like a misfit there.

10. People in the US tend to move a lot. People tend to date people in the same area where they currently live. It’s probably fairly unusual to date someone from your same original area unless you’re still in high school or you both never left your hometown. Needing to bond over hometown nostalgia is something I think most Americans would never even consider for dating, much less find important.

11. Dating pools definitely vary in characteristics and quality between cities because of the kind of residents they select for. I have firsthand experience with this.

    But as far as transplant origins, I haven’t really noticed differences.

12. I’ve dated someone who grew up in the same city as me, and it was just kind of a mildly interesting fun fact. I don’t think it had a major effect on our relationship.

13. For me personally I don’t think I’d have a problem dating someone who grew up someplace else

    It’s easier for me to relate to people who also grew up in NYC cause there are things and places we can look at with the memories of what they once were and what they meant to us. I can ask them how the neighborhoods they grew up in and we hangout in have changed just the same as I can show them what’s changed in my neighborhood over the years

    Someone from out of town is only going to know what’s it’s been like recently and they might not get some of the peculiar mannerisms and behavioral patterns we have. I’ve also got a strong fondness for people who still have a NY accent even if it’s only really comes out strong when we’re mad or say certain words. If you say coffee and water the same way I do then chances are you stand a better shot than others

14. My husband and I are from different parts of the country and there are very clear cultural differences in how we were raised and even what public school was like. It doesn’t cause us problems though.

15. I think it is safe to say that to 99% of the population, this question hasn’t even entered their mind, let alone become a factor in their dating decisions.

16. It definitely makes some of the earlier conversations a little easier, but these days nobody really expects to share a lot of local knowledge and experiences. People move a lot.

17. My wife grew up in another state. But we both grew up in a pretty rural area, so we have that in common.

18. My fiancée and I come from opposite sides of the border. We talk in Spanglish, and initially bonded over the bad flour tortillas in Mexico City.

    Love finds a way.

19. It depends less on geography and more on size/mobility. It’s going to be different in a big city with lots of transplants versus a small town