I was starting an open relationship and I was a bit lost. I wrote down this list and my friend said they were too demanding. Instead of trying to negotiate I just said okay, nothing then like a child xd then he suggested to go back to FwB. And now I’m not sure what to do.
Can I see an external opinion about it and then hear what you’d do? Remember I’m interested in something rather casual and open. Thanks!!
– no exes
– No emotional connection – only with me.
– No oral sex from other (Only I can give you a blowjob)
– Condom always.
– You can’t sleep in your bed or introduce them to your mum.
– Sex only once a month aprox.
– No constant dates.
12 comments
Honestly, call me old fashioned, but i never understood the meaning and the purpose of an open relationship. Just why?
You’ll find someone who’ll align themselves to this list. But then again you might also have to compromise few things when he shows up with his list of rules.
No oral and once a month seem like the ones that feel a little unreasonable for an open relationship. It’s not giving the freedom, it’s just like dangling a little treat every once in a while.
You can’t have sex without creating emotional connection.
If your goal is a, “feeling of freedom”, be single.
Your list is trash with the exception of condoms always
If you are good with your boyfriend fucking others, I fail to see why it matters if blow jobs are apart of it. These rules are stupid. Polyamory is just FWB.
Unreasonable list. If u want more than FWB there are obviously emotions involved.. and feelings usually get hurt in open relationships. Why even go there? Ask to date exclusively but casually initially and go back to FWB if it doesn’t work.
1. Agree to open relationship.
2. Watch my open relationship go down the drain.
No rules is what makes it “open” 🙂
Most of this list is fine. Ask your friend which points he finds too restrictive and discuss why you want those particular rules and whether you can compromise.
You ought to post in the nonmonogamy sub though. This sub is rather reactionary and not generally sex-positive.
This sounds unreasonable. No oral doesn’t make much sense to me neither does the sex once a month. Tbh I’m sure he will do whatever they want. I’d stay fwb if you can handle it emotionally. Just make sure you’re getting out there too so you’re not too stuck on him
It seems pretty stupid and arbitrary if I’m being totally honest. Going back to friends with benefits would be advisable in my opinion, I know it’s hard when you’re attached to someone though. Who first suggested an open relationship? I think when there’s an open relationship, an ultimatum, and the feeling like the semantics and technicalities have to be addressed, then it’s over. I’d at least recommend emotionally detached yourself from them if you don’t go back to FWB, but then what’s the point?