Whenever i go for blind dates 70 percent of men are interested in my country of origin and most of the questions 80-90 percent of the questions are directed to it. I never felt that different before going to the recent dates. After the interaction i called up and ranted to a person who does match making and stuff and he gently pushed me into finding one from my own ethnicity/country.
Is this the reality? I have felt sometimes that I dont belong in the work place as most of them are from the same country but never I felt it slapped at my face like that.
So honestly, do you see the women the same given that the other factors like education level, intellectual level, earnings, career, financial independence, etc are the same or better? or would you still be bothered by the race or ethnicity?
On another note, what do i do now? Now when i am global, should i go back to my country just to date guys
15 comments
**Please do not delete your submission.**
Your submission has been flagged for moderator review. Please be patient. If you do not see your post published within 48 hours the moderators have decided to not publish it.
If/when your thread is approved and it runs its course, instead of deleting it, **you can simply type “!lock” (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread**. That way you won’t be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Another race doesn’t phase me in the slightest. A different country of origin, however, holds greater significance. Why? Because each country has a different culture and not all those cultures are “friendly” to my own. I won’t say that I wouldn’t date a woman from a culture I’m not comfortable with, but I will say I would see it as a red flag.
That said… If you’ve an obvious accent or something else that makes it clear you’re not a local, “Where are you from?” would be a natural topic of conversation.
I have lived in a number of countries. All else being equal, the question of what country someone is from doesn’t affect whether I would date them. I would ask at some point but it would just be an interesting factoid. I would however be much more careful about people from countries that want to wipe out mine.
I have seen some racial fetishization reported by my friends who are han chinese, immigrant. Beautiful girl 10/10 but didn’t really understand the implications that a guy told her she was being dated for her “pedigree” (ick) as a primary motivator.
USA tho and my wife is Han Chinese, not the same woman as above lol. Have had zero problems. I am culturally open minded. Way more than she is.
Parents West African, born in UK. Live in southern Europe.
My partner is (afro) Latina. I’ve travelled the world through my Johnson, but my best ever relationship/trysts have been with people of a similar culture to me.
This topic is… interesting. I often find white guys to be effusive in letting people know that it doesn’t matter to them what race they date. For a lot of black men this isn’t the case. For many reasons, some of which I do share (I’ve been fetishised before for example, really don’t wanna go through that again).
I’m open to all comers though, love is love yo.
Personally, as I am attracted to pale skin, I don’t find other races as attractive. I can see beauty in everyone, but pale skin is what ticks my boxes.
Do I care if other people date outside their race?
No. And I’d openly challenge anyone who said otherwise. You date who you want to. I don’t care about race, gender, disability or anything else like that. Everybody deserves somebody, providing they are a good person. Dickheads from any specific demographic can fuck off.
Pretty is pretty, so country/race won’t stop me. But I would like to know your culture if we are dating, so I can proactively adjust myself accordingly.
This happen, I’m sad to say. While there are lots of guys out there who will be open to dating any race/culture as long as certain core values match, there are plenty of others who have race on their “checklist” for potential partners. It’s a probabilities game, but IMHO there are a few factors that strongly influence your odds.
* Where you live. It helps so much to be in a multi-cultural environment already, because most people are trying to fit in the same as you.
* Age. Younger generations can tend to be more open-minded. But there’s a sweet spot; too young and there can be more influence from conservative parents.
* The culture of the people you’re trying to date. Each culture has their own unique quirks on what they can focus on, and there are a few cultural groups that (at least traditionally) put a lot of emphasis on matching within their core group, be that ethnicity, caste, religion, or social status.
In my younger days I was told on more than one occasion that I should stop dating certain people and “find a nice white girl”. I contended with a few parents who were clear that I was not dating material because of my race. I didn’t like hearing that, but thankfully I had the (totally unearned at the time) confidence to ignore them all, and dated the girls I found most attractive, no matter where they were from.
Keep trying, you’ll find a match eventually. Or if things get really grim, there are plenty of other places in the world that will welcome and celebrate you as you are!
I’m a little confused. Do you live in a place where culture and ethnicity is visibly different from your own, even at first impression?
If I have that right, I think there’s probably *some* truth to your “exoticism” being fetishized, but I’d also caution you to not jump to too quick of a conclusion simply because someone wants to better understand your life experiences. I live in Los Angeles, so I’ve learned to not assume *anything* about *anyone*, and if I find someone I want to get to know better, I simply ask lots of questions because, well, I mean, that’s how you get to know people, right?
British. London, England. Yes, my partner is Taiwanese.
I am Icelandic. I had a gf. from Thailand and my wife is Polish.
I don’t really care for the race or country of origin my spouse is from. If anything I find it better if she is from another country for the sole reason it gives me and her extra things to learn, talk about and explore together. Helped me grow as a person for sure and I helped her get settled and secure in the country she moved to. Its a win, win.
I’ve dated women from all over the world, both in terms of ethnicity and origin. I don’t care the slightest where someone’s ancestors are from, I do care where they are from though. Cultural differences are difficult in dating, language can be an issue (it’s really easy to have communication issues even if both people know the other’s language very well), cultural expectations are very different, and if you’re looking long term meeting family can be really tricky.
Now I don’t avoid dating people from other cultures, in fact I actually find it really interesting, however I do understand that it’s more difficult and comes with extra challenges, and I can see why some might be put off by it.
I suspect people are asking a lot of questions about where you’re from because they don’t know a lot about it or how it shaped who you are as a person. Also blind dates are hard and those are easy questions to ask to get the ball rolling, the solution could be as simple as guiding the conversation to another topic.
Aside from cultural challenges you will probably deal with people being racist, and you’ll probably have to deal with people fetishizing you because of your ethnicity, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date, just realize that you’re going to need to be extra patient.
I’m Portuguese, having lived long-term in both The Netherlands and Australia – other origins and ethnicities are pretty much non-issues in these 3 countries, and I have dated across many of them.
I have a natural curiosity about other cultures, and am likely to ask questions – but that’s… added texture, flavour, nuance – definitely seeing it as a value-add, not as a reduction or proxy for the person in front of me.
I’m from the US, and absolutely. There were 2.5years of my life where I didn’t date any White women. Not by choice, I asked out a couple, but Black, Latin and Asian women just seemed to be more into whatever vibe I was putting out. I’ve also dated women from other countries, one German woman and I really connected and I remember that relationship fondly, but we were both living outside our home countries on student visas so there was always an expiration date. Other times it’ led to frustration or some funny misunderstandings. I think it takes more patience, flexibility, and communication skills to date outside your nationality/race but I’ve seen it work with more than a few friends of mine. Also for context, My wife was raised methodist and I’m Jewish but we make it work, although we’re both American so that’s not exactly the same.
Race is unimportant but you have to be cautious about cultural differences.