This is something I’ve noticed in a lot of men in my life, and a number of people have echoed similar experiences.
Example: my husband has been having some stomach issues for over 3 months. There’s only so much I can nag. As much as I wanted to let him to figure this out himself, I simply got too worried and took him to our GP after a ton of convincing.
he is awaiting test results and has started a new medication which is already helping (thank god)
He’s been suffering like this for 1/4 of the year but didn’t have to!!
So I ask y’all- why does it seem so difficult to get you into a doctor’s office?
25 comments
Usually it’s a waste of time and they don’t help and you just feel stupid for going there
It’s not. I’m going on Monday.
What’s the point? Either they refuse to treat me or they make everything even worse because of incompetence or hostility. I do a better job than 95 % of all doctors just by googling. And the last 5 % of doctors who actually do their fucking job are so expensive you need to be filthy rich.
For me. I’m very used to being in control of my environment and being the head of household. It’s very difficult to give up control. And you’re making me pay to do it on top of that? No thank you. Won’t go unless absolutely necessary.
Maybe stop nagging him if he doesn’t want to go.
When guys get really sick and we need bedrest, women give us shit because “well I get sick and I work through it.” When we’re not feeling great but powering through it, women give us shit about going to the doctor.
Can’t fucking win man.
We are taught from a young age to “walk it off”, “dont be a pussy”, and “fix it yourself”. We also are taught we need to be able to afford to spend most of our money on our significant others and family so by the time most of us are done doing that we don’t feel like spending a boat load of money on a doctor unless we think it’s an emergency because it cuts into what we have left. Most general physicians haven’t done much for us unless it is something serious. When I have gone I normally just get told “sleep better, eat better, stress less” unless I have something big then get sent to 1-3 more qualified specialist doctors. I normally find a specialist for my specific body area and skip general physicians all together at this point if I have to go. You put those things together and guys get reluctant though.
I have the same problem with my wife. If it’s not something very painful like toothache she simply won’t go, won’t make any tests. Question to all women, why :D?
I guess it’s specific for a person, not a gender 😀
The reason is I find it’s extremely difficult to get a doctor’s appointment in evenings or weekends when we are not working. Also, most natural remedies work as well or better and much faster than taking pills and waiting for a prescription.
Stomach issues are mostly caused by food poisoning and indigestion, causing gastrointestinal press and pain. And all you need to cure it is fasting for 48-72 hours with no food and drinking a lot of water or green and ginger tea.
I confess that growing up in a conservative family, I inherited the “you’re a man, just handle it” mindset
On the other hand… I’m from Brazil, if it’s not urgent and I can handle it, I won’t go to the hospital just to wait 5 hours in line.
I once developed shin splints and I simply lived with it until it went away. It did, after 2.5 years. I could’ve gone to the doctor yes, but well.
There’s so much perfectly good dirt around for me to rub on it.
Simple. I’m American and I’d rather be able to afford to eat.
UK, it’s just hard to get an appointment tbh
My problems almost always go away on their own eventually. Don’t want to spend time and money on the doctor if I don’t need to.
I’m broke and American, so going to a doctor for anything would ruin my life. I’m going to assume you meant “why wouldn’t you go if you can,” in which case cost might still be a factor but it’s probably a more involved, personal answer.
It’s only hard because we think “convincing” the guy is necessary. You can just take him in the same way you’d take a dog to a vet. Do you ask your dog if he wants to go to the doctor?
When you’re often patronized and belittled for sharing feeling ill or in pain, you end up internalizing that viewpoint, and the threshold for going to a doctor increases.
Had a random lump come up on my forearm once. A day later it turned into a bruise the size of a softball. Tried to go to a local clinic to have it looked at, ended up going to the ER because it was Sunday.
Got told I hit my arm on something and to go home and put a warm compress on it. When I told them I didn’t hit it on anything, they told me I did and must not remember.
This is typical for my doctor visits. I’m in the military so if I’m not dying or pregnant I need to work out that shit on my own.
I got a new primary doctor and he literally told me that his job is to listen to my symptoms, and write me a prescription so that I don’t experience any symptoms.
Silly me, I thought a doctor’s job was to try and ascertain the root cause of those symptoms, and give me information on how to change my habits and behavior address the root cause, and to provide a prescription in cases where I might not be able to get well on my own.
At the same appointment, I was *at least* 40 pounds overweight. He told me the weight wasn’t a problem at all, though I should try to take more walks. What he should have said is “you need to lose weight, you are shortening your lifespan carrying around all that fat.”
Most doctors are the business of selling prescriptions, surgeries or other expensive medical interventions. So I guess I don’t have the same breathless, unquestioning reverence towards doctors that others have.
Every time i go to the doctor they tell me just to come back in 2 weeks. Its a waste of time and PTO.
First, remember that while “men don’t go to the doctor” is a stereotype, so is “men are a bunch of babies who just flop over at the first hint of Man-Flu”. People want us to tough it out, but they don’t want us to tough it out. It’s a weirdly conflicting set of demands.
Taking time off from work or other responsibilities is a No for a lot of us, too.
Then, speaking personally, there’s the problem of getting taken seriously. It’s a kind of running joke that you could have garden shears sticking out of you, tell your doctor “I have garden shears sticking out of me”, and they’d be all “let *me* be the judge of that”.
Like, I had a sinus infection roughly every year or so, at the same time of the year, since I was a kid, and I’ve yet to have a doctor who wasn’t all “Hm, let’s see.” about it. Even the ones who’d treated me before.
Then there’s going through the whole process and getting “just ride it out”, or “it will take care of itself on its own” as a response, which you still have to take time off and pay for to get, as a diagnosis. (I’m also approaching the age where “that’ll happen” is another non-result you’re gonna get.)
( One time I went to a City MD (a walkin clinic) for a problem, got referred to a hospital for tests, had to catch a cab to go to the hospital, got dropped three blocks away because cab drivers are trash, walked the difference, waited a few hours, had the tests done, and THEN they said nothing was wrong. Then walked home. That one cost a lot of money and stress, for absolutely no benefit.) Under those circumstances, I am waiting until I damn well KNOW they’re going to find something.
M56, Ontario, Canada. Unless you want pharmaceuticals or surgery, doctors aren’t really much help.
My brother-in-law had massive stomach issues for a while, years literally, and refused to go to the dr. until he was so sick he had no other choice. He unfortunately discovered that he had an 8″ tumor in his colon, and was dead within 6 months. He had insurance but was ‘a man’s man’ and ‘could handle the pain because he’s not a pussy’.
In my experience the doctor is usually kind of a waste of time. They might prescribe something or they might give you a recommendation for a specialist but they don’t do a lot else to make it worth the time it takes you to see them, most of the time.
The doctor isn’t going to tell me anything I don’t already know, but IS going to charge me a shitload of money for the privilege.
I know it’s hard for most women to believe, but men have to actually work for a living. We work harder jobs, longer hours, and just generally don’t have the time for shit like that. When I get done with a 12 hour day I just want to go home and relax so I’ll have the energy to do it again tomorrow. I don’t have a job where I can just leave at any time or leave during the day and come back. Doctors aren’t available on weekends either. I work 6AM to 4 or 5 PM Monday-Friday. Again, when do I have the time?