I have been dating for a while trying to find a ltr but it’s has not been going great. To be honest I’ve been trying to wait until I have a genuine connection with someone but I want sex now. Would it be confusing or wrong to do both?

14 comments

  1. Go meet people, have fun, be honest and let things flow! always use a condom!!!! believe me finding a person to have a connection with is difficult.

  2. Only you know that answer.

    Would you be able to keep both separate in your mind? Would you still consider your hookups for a serious relationship?

    My advice is to consider everything a hookup until something clicks in place. You’ll know when there’s potential for something more serious romantically. Just act upon your feelings then!

  3. Ultimately this is up to you

    For me personally casual sex just isn’t that exciting. It’s the connection, and love, and intimacy that makes sex really great. I enjoy a kinky/BDSM sex life, and the trust I place in my partner is a large part of the sexual thrill. So casual sex just isn’t for me. But everyone is different and others really enjoy casual sex. There’s nothing wrong if you want a casual sex partner while searching for a long term partner.

    The one downside, is some people will find this a turn off. Some people would end a relationship if they found out that while you started dating, that you also had a casual sexual partner. I don’t think casual sex is wrong, but it is relevant that it can have an impact on how future potential partners view you. Body count isn’t important to me, but when I started dating exclusivity from the start was.

  4. It’s fine as long as you are OK with it and that is what you’d want. I personally always adhered to the fun and enjoy being single part and put less pressure on trying to find a LTR with every guy you are attracted to. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket is all I’m saying. 🙂

  5. When I was last single I had a FWB because I wasn’t ready for a relationship but wanted to bang.

    It was cool. We watched bad reality TV together and hung out, ate food, etc. He was a cool guy but not someone I’d be in a relationship with. We both knew it wasn’t serious and didn’t talk about it that way, just had fun.

    Eventually, I met my boyfriend and told him and it was over in a very amicable way.

  6. Personally, hook ups are on the path to a long term relationship. Sexual compatibility is important to me, so knowing how that is early on prevents wasting time. Of course its not all that matters, and if the rest doesn’t pan out then its okay

  9. Not shaming at all but personally this would put me off. If I was interested in and working on a LTR with someone, I couldn’t deal with them having casual sex at the same time.

  10. Not wrong at all to do both, but it could be confusing if you aren’t able to separate your feelings from mere hook-ups. I have done this before because I don’t like being without sex for longer than a couple months at a time. From my experience, it’s easier to be honest with the people you’re dating about what you’re looking for. It would probably be easiest to find someone you click with and enjoy hanging out with and hopefully you also enjoy being intimate with them when the time for that comes. A lot of guys will show their true colors after you sleep with them for the first time, but the right one might come when you least expect it.

  12. Not wrong. How early you have sex should not be a factor in whether or not you can have something deeper. That’s boomer mentality. I’ve had multiple “hookups” become more. That’s probably because I respect all my partners. I don’t care if a woman tells me I’m her 50th lover. Makes no difference to me. If it’s there, it’s there. I wouldn’t be in a serious relationship without great sex anyway.

  13. It’s not wrong or confusing. It’s very common for people to have casual sex while looking for a partner.

  14. You can do both…I wouldnt stop having sex because you can transfer the skills to your person when you find him/her…btw I was sleeping with multiple men casually when I was also seeing my now long term romantic partner. So u just never know…

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